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Jewish World Review Nov. 2, 2000/ 3 Mar-Cheshvan, 5761

Kathleen Parker

Kathleen Parker
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Consumer Reports

Latest Jones' saga
exposes a big irony --
SHE'S BA-AAACK. Indeed, Paula Corbin Jones -- American Woman's most embarrassing little sister -- won't go away. Like a hubristic poltergeist, her bruised spirit keeps surfacing, albeit seasonably, to haunt and taunt our recovering national pride.

This time, the renovated Jones appears "exposed" in the November issue of Penthouse Magazine. Answering once and for all the question that plagued a nation -- "How could he? -- Jones shows us what she's got.

Clintonesquely, she says she did it for her children. And, well, okay, maybe a little bit for the money. And so what? A woman's gotta do what a woman's gotta do. Among the things a woman can do, whether or not she's gotta, is change her mind.

In fact, Jones did change her mind since a few months ago when she declared with faux-moral outrage -- the sort Scarlet O'Hara was known to muster when Rhett suggested that she what she really needed was a big ol' manly kiss -- that she'd nevah, nevah pose for a men's magazine.

That she changed her mind is hardly cause for superciliousness. After all, she's a woman and it was (there's that word again) a "choice." Being propositioned in a hotel room by an allegedly unzipped governor was, by contrast, nota choice.

"I am an adult woman and made the choice to do so," Jones, 34, told Larry King during a recent appearance. "I thought it was the best thing to do for me and my children."

Her children are her two sons, who doubtless will be proud of their mother's photo spread. It's every boy's dream, really: Mom, Playmate of the Moment.

When shown a tape of her earlier nevah, nevah resolution, Jones was puckish: "I meant it at the time, but I changed my mind," she said. "Any woman, anybody in the world, has the right to change her mind."

Jones changed her mind, of course, when the money she'd hoped to earn through her lawsuit failed to materialize in the numbers she'd been promised by lawyers and Clinton-haters. Instead of the $2 million she sought, Jones settled for $870,000 and, alas, no apology from the man who so wounded her self-esteem and, did I mention, her good reputation?

By the time lawyers and new-best-friends took their cuts, little was left for Jones and her then-husband. Her take was less than one-fifth of the total, Jones told Penthouse, and now she's faced with a $20,000 debt to the Internal Revenue Service while trying to raise two children alone.

Clearly the woman had no choice but to strip to the bare essentials and give the world a close-up glimpse of presidential temptation.

Besides, as Jones told King, she hasn't worked in ten years. How is she supposed to send her kids to college?

Getting a job does spring to mind -- and doing voice-overs for Minnie Mouse can't be ruled out -- but posing nude is more cost-effective and less time-consuming.

I'm sure she'll come up with some clever explanation for her boys about how she had to pose nude for a salacious men's magazine in order to cover expenses incurred while suing the president of the United States for suggesting in a hotel room that she might be available for, oh, never mind. In matters of irony, I defer to Paula.

Meanwhile, one can only hope that Jones was truthful when she said on Larry King Live that posing for Penthouse was "a once-in-a-lifetime thing."

JWR contributor Kathleen Parker can be reached by clicking here.


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10/13/00: Forget polls: Bush passes turtle test
10/06/00: Feminism: A cup that's half full?
10/04/00: Election-year reality check: Abortion is here to stay
09/29/00: For Gore and Hollywood, the mirror has two faces
09/26/00: Oprahfication of presidential political: It's all about feelings
09/19/00: It's not subliminal: Hypocrisy of moral outrage is obvious
09/15/00: So wear, oh wear, are we headed?
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09/08/00: Grounded in her fears about flying
08/31/00: Dudettes that don't
08/29/00: AlGore wants to be his own man -- does he know who that is?
08/21/00: Dems manufacture emotions at convention
08/17/00: Hollywood divine? AlGore is miscast
08/08/00:Outreach: Good strategy and long-run policy
08/04/00: A sharp look back at the Vietnam War
08/01/00: Bush's choice of grown-up Cheney is a stroke of genius
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07/20/00: Lack of judgment --- our critical flaw
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07/11/00: School essay watchdogs cannibalize our children
07/06/00: Youths fear marriage --- blame boomers
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04/14/00: Boys should be boys, not viewed as criminals in training
04/11/00: Oh, for a standard of what is socially, morally acceptable
04/06/00: Womyn's Contempt for Commitment --- and the bastards it creates
04/04/00: Sue-happy American society is out of control
03/30/00: Duct-taped baby serves as warning
03/28/00: Stay-home parents know that their kids need them
03/24/00: No 'Great Expectations' when schools shun the classics
03/21/00: It's common sense to restrict Internet usage in libraries
03/17/00: You want to be just a mom? For shame!
03/14/00: Colonoscopy: Important, but bad TV
03/10/00: I made a mistake about trigger-locks
03/08/00: After this school shooting, no easy target for our contempt
03/03/00: Car crash helps bridge our divide
02/28/00: Nasty politics? Americans like it down, dirty
02/14/00: College testing via Lego-building -- yeah, right
02/02/00: Bubba should spare us phony love theatrics
01/26/00: What sets off Those Who Speak for Women
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01/11/00: Who funds these studies!?
12/29/99: Grandparents' rights impinge on family autonomy
12/13/99: When did fathers become fair game?
12/09/99: Don't be stupid about at-risk kids
12/07/99: Pokemon is no substitute for a father
12/02/99: Blaming the victim --- men
11/30/99: Baby-killer's story has less-than-Precious ending
11/23/99: Pendulum swings back toward discipline, responsibility
11/18/99: Put the babies first in this mighty mess
11/11/99: Skip the applause for this baby news
11/09/99: Gore could benefit from a secret in Wolf's clothing
11/03/99: Who needs 'birds and bees' when we have MTV?
11/01/99: Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say
10/26/99: Children's needs must take priority in divorce system
10/19/99: The deadbeat dad is less a scoundrel than an object of pity
10/15/99: Bullying boys ... and girls
10/12/99: Divorced dads ready to wage a revolution
10/04/99: A father's best gift? His presence
09/30/99: Sorry, guys, Faludi is no friend of yours
09/28/99: Science's new findings: Scary future for families
09/23/99: The great blurring of need and want
09/21/99:Focus on more than baby's first 3 years
09/16/99: Commentary from kids sheds no light on day-care debate
09/14/99: Fathers' group seeks to right inequities
09/09/99: Son now has a license to grow up
09/07/99: A slap in the face of domestic violence
09/01/99: No, ma'am: Legislation on manners misses the mark
08/26/99: For better boys, try a little tenderness
08/24/99:The ABC's of campaign questions
08/19/99: Male 'sluts'
08/11/99: Language doesn't excuse bad behavior
08/09/99: When justice delayed is still justice
08/03/99: Unemployment? Not in this profession
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07/22/99: Tragedy tells us what's important
07/19/99: Study denouncing fathers sends danger signals
07/15/99:'Happy marriage' belongs in the Dictionary of Oxymorons next to 'deliciously low-fat.'
07/11/99: 'Brother Man': An American demagogue in Paris
07/08/99: Only parents can fix broken families
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07/01/99: Tales out of Yuppiedom
06/28/99: Men aren't the only abusers
06/23/99: Is the entire country guzzling LSD punch?
06/20/99: The voice remains -- as always -- there beside me 06/16/99:Stating the obvious, a new growth industry
06/14/99: Calling for a cease-fire in the gender war
06/10/99: We owe children an apology

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