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Jewish World Review Dec. 28, 2004 / 16 Teves, 5765

Argus Hamilton

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Consumer Reports
And now for the
important news .... | Peyton Manning set the NFL record for touchdown passes in a season Sunday. The same day his brother Eli Manning lost his fifth game in a row. As a winner-loser brother tandem they have a long way to go to break the record set by Bill and Roger Clinton.

Kobe Bryant versus Shaquille O'Neal had the highest ratings for a basketball game in six years. This simplifies everything. The commissioner announced that the Lakers and Miami will meet in the NBA Finals no matter what happens in the playoffs.

U.S. Airways canceled flights Sunday due to a strike by baggage handlers that stranded luggage. Some passengers were separated from their prescription drugs for days. They owe the union their lives for breaking them of their Vioxx addiction.

Michael Moore announced Sunday that his next documentary film will attack the health care industry in America. He's not out to get the pharmaceutical companies. He's just looking for something to relieve the redness in the center of the country.

The International Space Station finally got a supply delivery Saturday. The astronauts were running so low on everything they had to ration food. Their experiments didn't yield much information about space but they did find a cure for the obesity epidemic.

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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements, please click here.

© 2004, Argus Hamilton