Clicking on banner ads enables JWR to constantly improve
Jewish World Review Dec. 4, 2003 / 9 Kislev, 5764

Argus Hamilton

JWR's Pundits
World Editorial
Cartoon Showcase

Mallard Fillmore

Michael Barone
Mona Charen
Linda Chavez
Ann Coulter
Greg Crosby
Larry Elder
Don Feder
Suzanne Fields
James Glassman
Paul Greenberg
Bob Greene
Betsy Hart
Nat Hentoff
David Horowitz
Marianne Jennings
Michael Kelly
Mort Kondracke
Ch. Krauthammer
Lawrence Kudlow
Dr. Laura
John Leo
Michelle Malkin
Jackie Mason
Chris Matthews
Michael Medved
Kathleen Parker
Wes Pruden
Sam Schulman
Amity Shlaes
Roger Simon
Tony Snow
Thomas Sowell
Cal Thomas
Jonathan S. Tobin
Ben Wattenberg
George Will
Bruce Williams
Walter Williams
Mort Zuckerman

Consumer Reports

And now for the
important news .... | The New York Post exposed New York firemen Tuesday who abandoned their wives for the widows of firemen who died September 11th. They forsook their vows for rich widows. Bill Clinton arrived at the Knicks game that night wearing an NYFD cap.

The Weather Channel reported Tuesday that the first frigid air mass of the winter has descended on the Midwest. It caught many unprepared. Early this morning people insulted each other on the streets of Minneapolis just to get in a few heated words.

Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas announced plans to construct a new tower to hold more gamblers. The atmosphere there is first class. The reason the bellhops at casino hotels look so distinguished is because just a month ago they were customers.

Horatio Hornblower premiered its third season Wednesday to rave reviews from critics. The hero scatters and destroys Napoleon's fleet. In the last scene two Frenchmen are marooned on a desert island and one offers the other a government job.

President Bush addressed a steel executives' luncheon in Pittsburgh. The menu was sumptuous. The dessert was so rich it received a fundraising letter from Howard Dean, a tax cut from the president and a proposal of marriage from John Kerry.

U.S. troops destroyed busts of Saddam Hussein Tuesday to try to convince Iraqis that he's not coming back. You can't be too careful. It's the same reason George Steinbrenner goes to Scottsdale every three months to pour more ice on Ted Williams.

Al Sharpton on Tuesday cut the ribbon of his new Washington D.C. presidential campaign headquarters. He declared that President Bush has left the economy in ruins. As an example, Al Sharpton hasn't been able to find a job in forty-eight years. Wesley Clark expressed his pride in his Jewish heritage at a temple in Palm Beach Monday. He was born Jewish and raised Protestant then converted to Roman Catholicism. As a result, no country club in America can turn him down for membership.

Colin Powell was reported last week to be dropping hints he would not serve a second term as Secretary of State. It makes sense. You know a recession is almost over when Republicans are no longer willing to work for a government salary.

Donate to JWR

Appreciate this writer's work? Why not sign-up for JWR's daily update. It's free. Just click here.

Argus' Archives Archives

JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements, please click here.

© 2002, Argus Hamilton