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Jewish World Review Nov. 30, 2004 / 17 Kislev, 5765

Argus Hamilton

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Consumer Reports
And now for the
important news .... | Target banned Salvation Army bell ringers from their stores but Wal-Mart said they welcome them. It's the least they could do. Salvation Army thrift shops did a really nice business until Wal- Mart undersold them and put them out on the streets.

USC kept its top ranking by whipping Notre Dame in the Los Angeles Coliseum. The academic standards at South Bend are much higher. Half the stadium Saturday were wearing ND sweaters and the other half thought they were playing North Dakota.

Annika Sorenstam competed with the men in the Skins Game Saturday. Last year at the Colonial she broke the barrier and became the first woman to play in a PGA tournament. Somehow you knew the Jackie Robinson of golf would be a Swedish blonde.

Congress voted to buy back the presidential yacht Sequoia. It is rented out for parties and TV shoots. The Sequoia hosted an overnight date by the Bachelor, which leads most people to think Bill Clinton is the last president to use the boat.

Governor Tom Vilsack, speaking for Democrats Saturday, called for help to feed the hungry in America. The problem is getting worse. Forty million Americans are on the Atkins Diet and everywhere they look vendors are offering pizza by the slice.

Howard Dean is lobbying to become the Democratic Party Chairman. He's raised millions over the Internet from young people with credit cards. The devil just offered him the Democratic nomination in four years in exchange for the mailing list.

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© 2004, Argus Hamilton