“If my husband would help around the house more, I would be happy.”
“If my kids would listen, that would make me happy.”
“If I had a husband/wife, I would be happy.”
“If I made more money, then I would be happy.”
These are only a few statements that are said and thought all around the world, but they are not true. We need to stop waiting for things and decide to be happy now.
Whether or not a person is happy does not depend on other people or circumstances. While it is nice to have a good relationship, more money or a better job, it does not guarantee happiness. Jobs change, spouses disappoint, money is lost and so many other things in life are beyond our control.
So how does a person live a happy life?
To know if you’re happy, you have to decide what being happy really means. Does it mean having lots of money? Does being happy mean that you walk around with a cheesy grin, bounce in your step and infectious laugh everywhere you go? Maybe it is a quiet contentment and peace with the world.
Happiness is not a guarantee and it is not something that is simply given out all the time.
Happiness is a choice
Now wait a minute, what about all of those people who suffer from depression? They don’t choose sadness. Correct. Depression is real and very challenging, but when a person continues to feel depressed and does not seek help, they are making a choice. It will be harder for them, but they can do it.
You can’t expect happiness in every moment of your life. If you never have the sad times or the struggles, how could you really know what happiness and joy are? You would have nothing to compare it against and it would be meaningless to you. So accept those hard and sad times, work through them and then find happiness.
How can we have an overall joyful and happy life?
Research shows that the quality of your close relationships are good indicators of a person’s overall happiness, but that relationship does not have to be a marriage. It can be close friends or family members or your best friend. You can definitely be happy and single.
You can also be unhappy and married, unhappy and single or happy and married. The choice is yours. Remember – you are the captain of your ship. Surround yourself with people who uplift you, need you and love you. You deserve great relationships, but remember that all good relationships have highs and lows.
You deserve happiness
If you are married and struggling because your spouse is always disappointing you, please know that you deserve happiness. If you are in an abusive relationship that cannot be helped with counseling or in some other way, get out of that relationship.
If this is not the case for you and you are just unhappy in your relationship, try changing what you can – change yourself. Change your attitude by looking for the positive traits in your spouse. Change your actions by serving your spouse and looking for ways to show them love in the way they need.
If you are single, surround yourself with people who uplift you, need you and love you. You deserve good relationships and you can continue to pursue them. However, don’t sell yourself too short or set unrealistic expectations. Find a way of loving people for who they are, including yourself. Choose happiness.
Find a job or hobby you love or volunteer with a local charity you feel passionate about
Finding meaning at a job is not always possible. If that is the case for you and there is no way to change your job situation, find something else that challenges you and gives you a sense of accomplishment. Simply being unhappy because one aspect of your life is not the way you want is a choice.
Happiness depends a lot on our attitudes and what we choose to focus on. We can choose to focus on what we want and don’t have, or we can be happy with what we have. We can choose to be unhappy with the way others treat us, or we can focus on how we are treating others and do better.
One of the best ways to find happiness in life is to stop focusing on ourselves and serve others. “Truth Bomb Mom” recently posted a video blog about a time where she was struggling with her own happiness, but regained it by helping others. This is a great way to increase your happiness.
Everyone can be happy, but it requires action and choices. Look for the good in your own life and focus on that because there is always something to be thankful for. Choose to focus on that and your life will be happier.