May 26th, 2022


Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

Argus Hamilton

By Argus Hamilton

Published August 17, 2021

Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report
The Taliban capped off its breathtaking sweep of cities in Afghanistan by entering the capital city of Kabul Sunday unopposed by government forces. How embarrassing was the collapse? The Afghan army surrendered so quickly to Taliban forces that French national honor has been restored.

Afghan fighters drove the U.S. out of their country thirty years after running the Russians out and a century and a quarter after driving out the British. They just keep going. The good news is, the war in Afghanistan is over, the bad news is, the Taliban just noticed a power vacuum in Albany.

U.S. Chinook helicopters were shown on live TV evacuating State Department personnel from the U.S. Embassy in Kabul. We couldn't even enjoy watching a live military crisis without being reminded of the virus. Dr. Fauci warned every American trapped in Afghanistan to wear your Burka.

The Taliban said they were entering Kabul early Sunday to fill the suddenly created leadership vacuum. It wasn't a day featuring gallant leaders standing their ground. When the Taliban began entering Kabul, the president fled the capital city and disappeared, and so did Afghanistan's president.

President Biden was ripped by media Sunday for staying on vacation in Delaware during the evacuation of Kabul. Both political parties were incredulous. Conservatives couldn't believe he'd stay hidden during a crisis while the liberal elite couldn't believe anyone would vacation in Delaware.

President Biden sent Marines to Afghanistan to guard the evacuation of Kabul as the Taliban began entering the capital after decades of savage fighting. Yesterday, thirty Taliban recruits were killed in an explosion in a bomb-making class. It's a tough class, but it sounds like everybody passed.

The Weather Channel reports that Haiti was rocked by a seven point earthquake last weekend causing havoc. Cable news channels were quick to make it a partisan issue. Geologists say the quake was caused by a single line of shifting tectonic plates under the earth that CNN called Trump's Fault.

Arnold Schwarzenegger startled fans Friday posting an angry pro-mask and pro-vaccination video on social media. In it, he ridiculed libertarian anti-maskers and anti-vaxers. Arnold got so emotional he said screw your freedoms, but to be honest it sounded a lot better in the original German.

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Los Angeles schools reopened on Monday and students across L.A. are so excited to return to in-person indoctrination. On the first day in class, third-graders were given a math question. If you take seventy-six genders and divide it by systemic racism, how any white oppressors do you have?

A Virginia teacher quit during a Loudoun School Board meeting Tuesday, refusing to teach Critical Race Theory. It claims the U.S. was founded upon and flourished on race exploitation. The FBI has just uncovered a white supremacist plot to just sit back and enjoy the collapse of the United States.

Barack Obama didn't comment on the seventy-four cases of Covid at Martha's Vineyard after his birthday party last weekend. This year my family is inviting Obama to Thanksgiving dinner. If he comes, we won't have to wear a mask, and if he doesn't come, we'll have something to be grateful for.

New Zealand declared it will remain closed to any visitors or immigrants through next year at least. The athletic and LGBTQ world community just finished rooting for NZ transgender Olympic weightlifter Laurel Hubbard and felt awful when she failed to medal. She worked her balls off for this.