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May 24th, 2022

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Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

Argus Hamilton

By Argus Hamilton

Published August 11, 2021

Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report
South Dakota held its annual rally of tens of thousands of motorcycle riders this past week called the Sturgis Bike Rally. Bikers were jam-packed into one little town. However, to keep the CDC from calling it a super-spreader event, they changed its name to the Obama Birthday Bash West.

The Olympic Games ended in Tokyo Sunday and the Olympic flag was flown to France where it will fly at Paris City Hall until the 2024 Games. To guarantee huge TV ratings, the IOC is going to add the Insurrection Competition and as a special favor to American TV audiences, the Karen Toss.

History Channel aired a documentary special about Chicago's St. Valentine's Day Massacre in 1929 when seven guys were machine-gunned dead inside a garage. Only seven gangsters were murdered in one day? It's proof once and for all that Chicago was safer when Al Capone ran the city.

Governor Andrew Cuomo vehemently denied the sexual misconduct claims made against him by eleven women Friday and vowed to fight it out. One of his accusers filed a criminal complaint of sexual assault against him. If he's found guilty he could get four-to-eight years in the White House.

Politico covered the interview of a Cuomo staffer who filed a criminal complaint against him for groping and sexual assault. It moved a California governor candidate to share her own experience. Caitlyn Jenner revealed to reporters that for years she had been groped by Bruce Jenner.

Joe Biden's accuser Tara Reade ripped Jen Psaki for downplaying her sexual assault charge against Biden. She said Joe attacked her outside his Senate office in 1993 when he got sexually aroused suddenly. They were discussing the border situation and she told Joe to think of the children.

The U.N. released a report issuing a Code Red for Humanity claiming the Earth is heating up faster than thought and with dire consequences. It woke up Al Gore and returned him to battle. I don't want to say Al Gore is getting old, but he just released a devastating report on diaper change.

Dr. Fauci ripped a biker rally in South Dakota as a spreader without ripping Obama's bash or Chicago's Lollapalooza. By now we know his act by heart. Be sure to get vaccinated or a vaccinated person might get sick from the virus that they got vaccinated against because you're not vaccinated.

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The AMA reported that the Covid epidemic has resulted in a spike in opioid use, particularly the synthetic heroin Fentanyl. For some reason, young people seem to prefer getting high on opioids. My best guess is, Millennials don't like doing cocaine because it blocks their reflection in the mirror.

The Hollywood Reporter says network TV executives will be airing more outrageous programs to lure young viewers away from streaming. The transition can be confusing. Yesterday, I turned on the TV and briefly thought I was watching a walking Zombie show, but it turns out it was C-SPAN.

The San Francisco Chronicle reports that the Oakland City Zoo has completed vaccinating all the animals housed inside the zoo for corona virus. The Oakland zookeeper reacted incredulously when asked why their animals had to be vaccinated. Have you ever tried to get a lion to wear a mask?

The Washington Post marked the fortieth anniversary of First Lady Nancy Reagan's Just Say No advertising campaign to fight America's cocaine epidemic. She convinced millions of young people to take a pledge to Just Say No to drugs. At the time I said no to drugs, but they wouldn't listen.

The White House Art Contest was won by a 9-year-old who painted a pair of giant black hands holding the White House. She said it symbolizes the White House was built by slaves. It's also on land stolen from Tory loyalists but my Union Jack on the White House flagpole didn't make the finals.

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