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Jewish World Review July 23, 2004 /4 Menachem-Av, 5764

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news .... | The September 11th Commission Thursday did not blame any agency or officials for failing to prevent the attacks. Their conclusions will be argued about for decades. Nobody believes Lee Harvey Oswald hijacked all four planes by himself.

Michael Moore's Fahrenheit 9/11 was booked into a theater in Waco by popular demand. This is the president's back yard. It's the movie insult equivalent of running American Gigolo a block away from John Kerry's second wife's seaside mansion.

USA Today released a poll of sixty PGA Tour caddies Wednesday that says one fourth of them have witnessed players cheating. It's pretty brazen. One golfer ordered three extra pillows from housekeeping in order to give himself a better lie.

Miami of Ohio will play Toledo in college football on ESPN on Election Day. It gives the country something to watch while the votes are being counted. The question is, how are they going to stretch a single football game to fill six weeks of airtime?

John Kerry hired documentary filmmaker James Moll to produce the movie that introduces him at the Democratic Convention. He's known for his excellent work with authentic combat footage. He served as Bill and Hillary's wedding photographer.

John Kerry reportedly asked prime-time speakers at the Democratic Convention to tone down attacks on President Bush. Not to worry. At the rate Whoopi Goldberg, Linda Ronstadt and Doonesbury are losing paying gigs, John Kerry will be lucky if the prime-time speakers at the Democratic Convention don't endorse President Bush.

Former U.S. Senator Max Cleland will introduce John Kerry at the convention in Boston. John Edwards will later join them onstage. With two wounded veterans and a personal injury attorney it's going to look like a commercial on late-night cable.

The September 11th Commission findings were leaked to reporters Tuesday. It came out in dribbles and drabs. The leaks were so frequent the report didn't shed much new light, but it did remind Americans that August is Prostate Awareness month.

Sandy Berger, while doing September 11th Commission work, took secret documents from the National Archives and walked them past security guards. They certainly didn't look inside his pants. This is the National Archives, not the National Airport.

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