Whether you like it or not,
And some grandparents -- even fabulously wealthy and wicked people like the Clintons -- just don't have time for wasteful activities like binge-watching "The Good Wife."
They must pay the bills.
Yet unlike the rest of us who didn't make a fortune from government, the Clintons won't have to work until they die. So they won't have to pour their haute sauce on dry dog food to make it tasty when they retire.
And even though they're determined to drag the nation through another gutter -- this one about cash and foreign governments and influence peddling, as alleged in a book out Tuesday called "Clinton Cash" -- the Clintons keep working.
If you had been accused of a smidgen of what they have been accused of, you'd blush. But the Clintons don't blush. It's as if their skin is made of bark, and it refuses to betray them with demonstrations of shame.
So she climbs ruthlessly toward a Clinton Restoration in the
Handel's "Water Music" will play in the background, and Bill will stand just a few steps below her, resplendent in his tartan kilt as First Laddie. And Hillary will be pale and powdered, like
But to make it all happen, Bill keeps hauling in at least
So why does Bill keep taking the money that most of us, Democrats and Republicans, would consider too moist to touch? Because he says there's nothing wrong with it. There is no proof, he says.
Besides, the man's got bills.
"Yeah,"
He's gotta pay the bills?
I guess that all depends on what the definition of "pay" is.
I heard that and wondered: Does he really want his wife to win the American presidency? It doesn't sound like it to me.
Hillary in office would eclipse him. He knows this. So he mouths something ridiculously stupid, like "I gotta pay our bills," which reminds us of her equally foolish comment about how poor she was when she left the
I'm not a cigar-smoking discredited psychiatrist, but Bill's remark sounds like a Freudian slip.
It's as if Bill were encouraging liberals to get in and challenge them, such as former
They're much more liberal, but better candidates than Hillary.
Of course, if either of the hard liberals gets in, then the Jeb Bush Neoconservative Big Republican Government War Machine will ramp up. And
By then I should be safely hidden in either
Perhaps I've read too much into Clinton's "I gotta pay our bills" comment. Perhaps Freud was right. Perhaps cigar is sometimes just a cigar. Or not, right, Bill?
Either way it was pure Bill, a man talented enough to kiss his own behind while being interviewed in
"Even though the criticism at home rumbles," the
The stories certainly were heartwarming. There's nothing quite like impoverished, hearing-impaired African children as props in a Clinton political story. Perhaps they'll finally hear his magic words.
But
That was the Clinton smile. But now it's time to see the Clinton war face. They know how to attack, and they'll attack the book "
However, The
My question: Have Democrat primary voters become so coarsened by the Clintons that they'd buy the nonsense Bill is selling?
"People should draw their own conclusions,"
Bill's superpower must be the ability to blow hot air into the ears of American voters and wipe their memories clean. Actually, that's more mutant than hero.
If all were right with the world, Hillary and Bill would be retired somewhere, perhaps even in the same house, watching "The Good Wife."
You can see them cuddling, Hillary giving Bill a sharp elbow when on screen it becomes clear that the sleazy fictional husband really doesn't want his estranged good wife to win her election.
"Oh, Bill," she murmurs sweetly, while grinding that elbow into his ribs.
"Come on, darlin'," he says, biting his lower lip, "I just gotta pay our bills."
He's just gotta.
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John Kass is a columnist for the Chicago Tribune who also hosts a radio show on WLS-AM.