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Jewish World Review Jan. 30, 2003 / 7 Shevat, 5764

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news .... | Howard Dean executed a campaign staff shake-up Wednesday to try to salvage his staggering campaign. It's a whole new day. Now that Iowa and New Hampshire are behind him, he is looking forward to screaming at voters in Oklahoma and New Mexico.

John Edwards in Oklahoma Wednesday gave his rousing stump speech that claims we live in two Americas. It's a great speech but it's untrue. If there really were two Americas, Presidents Day would honor George Washington and Jefferson Davis.

John Kerry will attend a Super Bowl party in Albuquerque Sunday as he stumps for votes in Tuesday's New Mexico Democratic primary. It's absolutely shameless. Some parties will stoop to anything for a few free sample packets of Heinz ketchup.

The Super Bowl will be sponsored Sunday by Viagra and day- trading companies and mutual funds. The Lingerie Bowl will air during halftime. Before the kickoff, everyone in the stands will rise for the singing of Won't You Come Home Bill Clinton.

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