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Jewish World Review /Feb. 19, 1999 /3 Adar 5759
MUGGER
The Howell Raines Conspiracy
THE NEW YORK TIMES devoted half its editorial page on Saturday to a
windy essay, larded with phony baloney like this lead sentence: "In a
season of frailty, the Constitution has prevailed once again. It remains
the great anchor rock of the Republic, enduring through partisan storms
in the Congress, immune in the end to even so large and unpredicted a
betrayal as a President’s dereliction of duty."
I remember in my youth
that the Times was said to be written so that anyone with a sixth-grade
reading ability would be able to understand it. I’m 43 now, and I have
no idea what Howell Raines & Co. are talking about. After the rot about
the "great anchor rock of the Republic," deeper into the editorial, we
get to the heart of the paper’s mission: a full-blown assault on the
Republicans they hope to defeat in 2000.
DeLay may have his faults, but he emerged as a hero in the yearlong
scandal. Had it not been for his persistence in guiding a Republican
Party that was shell-shocked by its defeats in the November elections,
it’s likely that Clinton would not have been impeached at all. That
would’ve been a grave injustice; never has a president in this century
eluded punishment for real crimes as adeptly as Clinton. The real story
of his administration will dribble out in the next 20 years, but
thankfully DeLay was able to marshal the GOP majority in the House to do
the right thing and vote for an impeachment that at least kept Clinton
nervous for a few months.
Reading excerpts of all the blather from senators after the trial’s
conclusion—Teddy Kennedy piously praising the Constitution, for
example—it was refreshing to see what Robert H. Bork, the man whose
Supreme Court nomination Kennedy successfully blocked in ’87 by
disseminating evil, and false, rhetoric, had to say. (Kennedy took the
Senate floor back then to
Now that Frank Rich has mercifully left the Times’ op-ed page at least
until June to write a book about growing up in the 50s—considering his
bitterness about the nuclear family, that ought to be a cheery
tome—there’s no better time than the present for Maureen Dowd to follow
suit. Yes, a two-year sabbatical, preferably overseas, where Maureen
could hone her Young Adult fantasy book-writing, is the order of the
day. After all, her Feb. 10 column was more than ample evidence that
Dowd’s mind has turned to mush. In yet another attack on Ken Starr—talk
about flogging a bleeding horse—Dowd has suggestions for Janet Reno, the
attorney general who acts like she’s been drugged by the Clinton White
House. Dowd begins: "You go, girlfriend. Don’t get bogged down in your
usual dilly-dallying, shilly-shallying thing. Dump the guy, Janet. He’s
a loser. Worse, he’s a stalker. Maybe he didn’t do rope lines, but
Kenneth Starr is more creepily obsessed with tracking and trapping than
Monica ever was."
The conclusion to Dowd’s Sunday column was just plain stupid: "We should
be happy the President is plotting revenge. At least revenge is an
agenda. And an agenda is what Bill Clinton desperately lacks. If there’s
one thing we now know about this inhabitant of the Oval Office, it’s
that he must at all costs be kept busy." Funny, Mo. While it’s not
likely that Sidney Blumenthal can be counted on to direct a new
dirty-tricks offensive—if there’s any justice, he’ll be tied up in court
and then sent to the slammer—I have no doubt Clinton and Carville can
hire some other plumber to accomplish the grand assignment of cleansing
the President’s filthy legacy.
"Not-so-primped-but-perennially-portly pepperpot Monica Lewinsky is
caught headed for a cab on 59th Street yesterday." I’ve written cutlines
and headlines in my day, and they can be a bitch, but my advice to
Rupert and his son Lachlan is to make sure the Coke machine at the
office is stocked with soda, and not Budweiser.
Thomas DeFrank, the Daily News’ Washington bureau chief, had a different
take the day after Clinton’s acquittal. In a Feb. 13 story headlined
"Hil Fuming at GOP—& Bill, Too," DeFrank cites "sources" close to the
First Lady who suggest the President has spent many a night on the couch
in the couple’s White House living quarters. According to a "friend" of
Hillary, "She is really furious that his stupid, negligent, outrageous
behavior gave the right-wing conspiracy a leg up on them... She has made
her views about that known to him." DeFrank adds, "This may explain the
fact that while her husband privately preaches the politics of
reconciliation, the First Lady is dusting off her war bonnet." I don’t
believe for a second that Clinton has reconciliation on his mind, but it
will be entertaining to see Hillary join James Carville in conjuring up
more half-baked theories like the "vast right-wing conspiracy."
They’ll cross fire with Rick
Brookhiser, Newsday’s Bill Reel, Pat Buchanan and reinforcements from
The Wall Street Journal. Almost better than Shrub vs.
Berating Congress once again for not imposing a censure on the criminal
President, the Times castigated the GOP for its handling of both the
impeachment itself and the trial. "Their mistakes could be laid to bad
judgment, but our vote goes for cowardice. [Henry Hyde and Robert
Livingston] were both intimidated by the majority whip, Representative
Tom DeLay of Texas, into supporting impeachment. If the House managers
want to blame someone for their defeat, they could do worse than Mr.
DeLay. More than any other person, he created the atmosphere that sent
them across the Capitol to argue a case that was not strong enough to
meet the constitutional standard for removing a President."
Hyde
claim that "Robert Bork’s America is a land in
which women would be forced into back-alley abortions"; also, "blacks
would sit at segregated lunch counters, rogue police could break down
citizens’ doors in midnight raids, schoolchildren could not be taught
about evolution" and so on.) "Justice was not done," Bork’s statement
about the impeachment read. "And the impeachment clause is very dead, at
least when a popular president is involved. There will be no
psychological impact on the President, except anger on his part, because
the man has no shame, thinks that opposition is never legitimate... The
Presidency has been cheapened. The Congress is now more polarized than
ever, the Democratic Party further to the left... [The American public
is] apathetic, a lot of them nonjudgmental. When immoral behavior takes
place—and I’m not talking sex; I’m talking about obstruction of justice,
witness tampering, perjuries—they should be judgmental. Not a hopeful
sign."
Bork
And while we’re at it, the New York Post ought to call a moratorium on
Monica fat jokes and let her get rich without their silly potshots. A
caption for a photo of her in Sunday’s paper read:
Dowd
Not to mention what a dilly that 2000 Senate campaign will be in New
York if Hillary takes on Rudy Giuliani. The early money is on Miss
Rodham, but Giuliani’s a rabbit puncher and he’ll have a truckload of
White House and Arkansas dirty laundry to exploit. Far be it from me to
disagree with Time’s august Jay Carney, the blowdried regular on
Hardball, but I suspect Hillary will enter the race. Just think: The New
York Observer’s Anne Roiphe, just out from the loony bin, along with
Michael Moore and Charlie
Rangel—all in the First Lady’s corner.
Carville
JWR contributor "Mugger" is the editor-in-chief and publisher of New York Press. Send your comments to him by clicking here.
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