Ian Shoales
http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com --
I HAPPENED to catch the last few minutes of THE CHAMBER the other night, a show on Fox
that near as I could tell was a combination of SURVIVOR and WHO WANTS TO BE A
MILLIONAIRE.
A rather sobersided guy in dark clothes with two days growth of beard we the emcee. A female contestant, good looking in a jocky kind of way, was put in some kind of tube-- the chamber-- strapped into a slowly shaking spinning chair, as temperatures slowly increase to 150 degrees, and winds to 50 miles per hour, and a robotic voice asks them questions.
"Which actor has donated millions to charity from profits gained from sales of products that bear his name."
"Ow. Paul Newman."
"Correct."
"My legs are on fire."
Between levels, the emcee asked the contestant how she was doing, and what hurt. Oh, and we were told that doctors were standing by, somewhere, looking for loopholes in the Hippocratic Oath, I guess.
I'd like to say my jaw dropped, but my jaw been down around my ankles since the Millennium.
Some people might consider this show to be another example of the networks once again becoming dangerously low close to what called the Lowest Common Demoninator. I don't think that. The show is too weird. Torturing people while you ask them trivia questions?
And why this complicated chamber business. If you truly want to appeal to the lowest common denominator, why not go more low tech. A contestant is tied in a chair, and asked to name all the Elvis movies, in order, as a scantily clad dominatrix pokes him with pointy sticks. POINTY STICKS, I'd call it.
Or maybe the contestant could be tickled on his or her bare feet, with feathers,
as a robot asks whether Bing Crosby or the Beatles sold more records. Or FIRING
SQUAD. The contestant is tied up and blindfolded and stood against a brick wall.
He is asked highly specific questions about M*A*S*H episodes. If he answers right, he
could go home with twelve thousand dollars! If he answers wrong, of course, he is
shot. It could be a hit. Unless it's much money to produce. Sure, meaningless
questions are cheap these days. But bullets are
JWR contributor Ian Shoales is the author of, among others, Not Wet Yet: An Anthology of Commentary. Comment by clicking here.
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