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Jewish World Review Oct. 25, 1999/ 15 Mar-Cheshvan, 5760
YES, it's true.
All of this begs the question: Is this a fair punishment for the crime
committed? I highly doubt that watching a two-hour Hollywood rendition of the
slave trade or a three-hour magnum opus about pre-Holocaust Europe would
sensitize a criminal in the least bit. I might even go so far as to argue that
the mere silliness and triteness of the punishment would ignite more disdain
for the justice system amongst the cross-burners. This, in turn, could help to
create more instances of religious and racial hate crimes.
On a wing and a prayer
Flying on a wing and a prayer has taken on new meaning. In an attempt to
woo business away from their American counterparts, European planemaker
Airbus is offering to install the world's first flying synagogue for El Al
jets. Airbus wants to construct the synagogue underneath the passenger
deck, in a place where most airlines would use it for a shop, a bar, or beds.
Watching 'Schindler's List'
is a punishment?
By Benyamin Cohen
The Washington Post is reporting that four men who burned a
cross in Illinois will have to go through a comprehensive sensitivity training
program, which would include, among other things, being forced to watch
"Schindler's List" as well as "Amistad."
Who would've thought? I am sure that when Spielberg was making those
movies, it
never once crossed his mind that these films would be shown as a form of
punishment. Although I am, admittedly, not the biggest fan of either of those
two cinematic masterpieces, I would however agree with most people that being
forced to watch those films as a punishment for acts of racial and religious
intolerance is a bit off.
If Judge Lawrence Keshner, the so-called clever judge adjudicating this case,
wanted to punish those guys, he should have suggested films of less greater
fare such as "Ishtar," the "Breakfast Club," or the seventh installment of the
"Nightmare on Elm Street" series.
As a community, as law-abiding citizens, and, most important, as members of
the
voting public, we should strive to place judges in office who will help get
crime off of the street, rather than devising ingenious ways for criminals to
make more of a mockery of the justice system than they already do.
Passing judgment with even remotely appropriate punishments would, at the very
least, be a step in the right direction. Either that or Judge Keshner should
join the critics' guild. Roger Ebert may be looking for another thumb.
As usual, when I read about such odd items, my mind begins to wander: I can
see it now. El Al's flying synagogue will become the wedding hall du jour,
the trendiest spot on the planet to hold one's nuptials. 
However, this
scenario would probably present some problems. Namely, who will do the
catering? The obvious choice is Wilton's - microscopic bags of peanuts for
the appetizer, half-frozen deli sandwiches with a packet of salt and a
weird looking slice of margarine on the side for the main course, and a
shot of vodka from first class for dessert would make for a delectable
wedding feast. The flight attendants could double as the waiters, the noisy
children in seats 23 A and B could be the flower girls, and the pilots
could conduct the ceremony. It would be a classic Jewish wedding - complete
with delays and obstructive views.
The concept of a flying synagogue would cause some other issues as well:
What denomination would it be? I mean, according to the infamous joke of a
Jew on a deserted island who built himself two synagogues - one to go to
and the other not to attend --, El Al would have to construct two
synagogues per plane. Additionally, if you have to pray facing east, the
front of the synagogue would have to rotate.
Finally, it would give new meaning to unfinished synagogue business being
left "up in the
JWR Benyamin Cohen is a writer with the
The Atlanta Jewish Times. Send your comments to him by clicking here.
