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Jewish World Review Sept. 27, 2000/ 27 Elul 5760
http://www.jewishworldreview.com --
ROSH HASHANAH is canceled this year. That's right --- it's called off. So put
your machzor holiday prayer book back on the bookshelf, return the honey to the pantry, and ask
the mailman to retrieve the new year's cards you just dropped in that big
box in front of the post office. Sorry, there'll be no round challahs this
year. Don't ask. Just trust me. I got a memo, postmarked this past Tuesday,
from Heaven.
I won't bore you with all the details. I'll skip over the part about the
valley of death, G-d's disappointment in His chosen people, and the general
state of disharmony amongst the Jewish nation. I'll skip right down to the
second paragraph.
It reads, and I quote: "And so, therefore, I G-d, the Big Guy Upstairs, by
the power vested in Me, do hereby cancel the Jewish New Year and call off
all observances of the festival. Sorry for all the hassle.
Love, G-d.
P.S. - Sukkot is still on."
After careful consideration, a trip to my shrink, and upon showing the note
to several prominent Torah scholars, I think I figured out what it all meant.
Apparently, G-d is pretty upset. We've gone off the path of Jewish
observance so much that He just downright decided to call off the whole New
Year thing. Sorry kids, no shofar this year.
Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that you haven't fallen
off the path of Jewish observance. You're not the archetypal rebellious
son. You go to synagogue. You read your
Torah from Dixie. But there's more
to Judaism than that.
Newsflash: Judaism is not a spectator's sport. It's a challenging, yet
rewarding, religion - one fraught with complex decisions and unique
opportunities.
We haven't left the Torah path. We've just sat down on the path and taken a
break. In essence, we've become the Grinch who stole Rosh Hashanah and the
rest of our Judaism, for that matter. As is most often the case, we've
fallen into our plush comfort zone, lazily taking the route of least
resistance. Yeah, I'm a religious Jew, but I'm the same religious Jew I was
twelve months ago. Judaism is not static; it's a dynamic religion. As the
old adage goes, if you're not moving forward, you're just not moving at all.
Alright, so we've got a few days to change G-d's mind.
If enough of us take to heart that we're in the month of Elul, the month
ripe for repentance, then maybe -- just maybe -- Rosh Hashanah won't be
canceled this year. If we get up off our feet and start making decisions, -
actual, real-life choices complete with consequences - then maybe we can
get back our New Year.
I think we can pull it off. Besides, I kind of like that round
The Grinch who stole
Rosh Hashanah
By Benyamin Cohen
JWR contributor Benyamin Cohen is editor of
Torah from Dixie. Send your comments to him by clicking here.
