Jewish World Review April 4, 2001/ 11 Nissan 5761
http://www.jewishworldreview.com --
THE most important place to be during the upcomining Passover
celebrations is not the synagogue, it's the family home. More
than any other festival, and we Jews have lots of them, Passover
is about the gathering of families.
The Passover meal, or seder, starts
with an open invitation. "Let anyone who is hungry come
and eat. Let anyone who is needy come and join in our Passover
meal." And so with children, parents and grand parents gathered
together, the meal begins. Of course, if the children's grandparents
are there, it also means the parents, parents in law, are
there. There's the wider family, too. Uncles, Aunts and cousins.
So it's a really happy family gathering ... well, maybe a reasonably happy
family gathering. How does the old phrase go --- "You can
choose your friends, but not your family."
Inevitably,
there will be some family members who won't be participating in this
particular "gathering of the clans." Jewish families
are just like other families, maybe even more so! There's bound
to be someone who doesn't come along, someone who has fallen off
his branch of the family tree.
A friend of mine is the rabbi of a very large synagogue. He tells
me the following scenario replays itself regularly, at least once a month: He will
be at a hospital to offer his support to a family during its time of need. The patient is gravely ill, perhaps even on his death bed. Suddenly, one of the siblings confides to him how much he regrets not having spoken with the patient for at least twenty years. Often the reason for the fight or even who said what to whom can't be remembered --- and now it's too late.
A famous rabbi once observed "Not everything that's thought should
be said, and not everything that's said should be written."
This year, no doubt, there will be an empty chair or two at many Passover celebrations. And chances are they might not be noticed until filling them will be an impossibility.
In the Passover story, the Jews who traveled to Egypt
had largely abandoned their religion and background.
They had tried to forget who they were and what
they were and where they came from. It was then, when they
found themselves in the deepest trouble imaginable, that Pharaoh decided to remind them.
And the "head" of the family, G-d, decided to give
them another chance. The Jews hadn't asked for it ... and they didn't really
deserve it, either. But the "risk" paid off. They accepted the invitation,
came together --- and returned "home."
So just in case there's someone out there who's fallen from your
family tree -- even if you feel he doesn't deserve another chance --
maybe, in the spirit of the holiday, we should take a gamble. If only to see if they'd like to
fill that empty
Passover: We are familiy --- or should be
By Rabbi Y. Y. Rubinstein
JWR contributor Rabbi Y. Y. Rubinstein, an international lecturer, is a commentator for the British Broadcasting Company (BBC). He was cited by the U.K. paper, Independent, as being among the five most regarded people in the Britain to turn to for advice. Send your comments by clicking here.
