Jewish World Review March 22, 2000 / 15 Adar II, 5760

Starting the chumetz Patrol

By Erica M. Rauzin

http://www.jewishworldreview.com -- Now that Purim is over, I know what it really accomplishes. You might think that it celebrates Jewish survival and gives everyone a good time, but I know better. What Purim does is create an onslaught of chumetz, or leaven, just before Passover.

We had plenty of chumetz to contend with even before Purim, but now we’ve got fresh new piles of hamentashen, muffins, bagels, pretzels, breadsticks, doughnuts, cake, cookies and every other possible combination of flour, sugar, and butter. My friends were so generous with their Shalach Manos baskets this Purim, I’m beginning to suspect a conspiracy among them all to send their chumetz to my house.

While one should never complain about an abundance of food, I am concerned about the looming onset of Passover. Our preparations are already underway, and meals that consume chumetz will have to be part of the battle plan. I hope my family is ready for a constant diet of pasta, bread and cake.

I realize, as I catalogue the Purim goodies, that we are already way beyond “Let them eat cake.” We’ve worked our way up to “Make them eat cake”.

Even though I’m carrying on, I have to admit that the creativity of our local Shalach Manos baskets reached new and delightful heights this year. The halachic requirement for a Shalach Manos gift is that it includes items requiring two different blessings, usually a grain and a fruit. The small, but choice, gifts we received this year met that requirement and more.

For instance, one family sent a plastic beach pail, complete with shovel, filled with goodies including a can of soda, candies, cookies and a box of raisins. The treats were concealed under shredded, colorful tissue paper that supported a layer of sea shells, a pair of sunglasses, and a few “gummy fish” candies.

We put our Shalach Manos on our friends’ doorsteps very early this morning, because we sent out breakfast: a plastic bowl and spoon, with a single-serving box of cereal, a lunchbox size carton of milk, a small box of raisins, and a tea bag, all wrapped in blue plastic. I confess, I thought this was a pretty cute idea, but my kids were not impressed. “That’s a Shalach Manos for grownups,” my middle child complained, “Kids want to get candy.”

Well, if that’s what kids want, that’s what the kids here got. We are ready to open our own sweet shack. I expect traffic at the neighborhood dentists’ offices and the local chapters of Weight Watchers to soar as a direct result of Purim.

Usually, I’d tell the children to save their candy, and to savor it a little bit at a time over a long period, but — as I may have mentioned with panic in my voice — Passover is coming, and quick. Thus, in a very unmotherly, unhealthful fashion, I’m urging them to consume it quickly, to give it away, recycle it, or feed it to the cat (as if she’d touch it), as long as it disappears, fast.

I was even considering helping the kids out, by downing a few of those tempting chocolates my own self, until one final Shalach Manos gift arrived: a tin of assorted candies and cookies bearing this note, “May your Purim be as full of happiness as it is of calories.”

Wishing you the same.

JWR contributor Erica Meyer Rauzin writes about the contemporary Jewish condition. Comment by clicking here.

© 2000, Erica M. Rauzin