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Jewish World Review Jan. 12, 2001/ 16 Teves, 5761

Wesley Pruden

Wes Pruden
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Consumer Reports

The dastardly plot to restore slavery -- THE SLAVERY SITUATION is far, far worse than anyone imagined.

We have the word of America's irreverent reverends that the restoration of John C. Calhoun's peculiar institution is the very point of the election of George W. Bush. This is what's at stake in the confirmation of the Confederates in George W.'s Cabinet. Lincoln foresaw this and said it would be OK: The union restored without disturbing slavery.

The Rev. Jesse Jackson warns that George W.'s nominees to the U.S. Supreme Court are likely to restore the infamous Dred Scott decision, which held that slaves had no right to citizenship. The Rev. Al Sharpton, the noted storefront theologian and Brooklyn divine, reveals a chilling premonition, saying darkly: "I would not meet with Bush alone." It's not clear what that means, but the men in the Bush inner circle understand that Al is the last man standing who can thwart their scheme to dispatch the U.S. Navy to Africa to buy more slaves. (The Sudan is selling.)

Only yesterday, Gale A. Norton, the attorney general of Colorado, George W.'s nominee for secretary of the Interior, was exposed for asserting in 1996 that states "lost too much" of their rights when the Confederacy was defeated in 1865.

The conspiracy may reach far deeper than a casual reading of the evidence suggests, with tentacles into both Democratic and Republican places. Consider these remarks of Kenneth A. Cook, president of the Environmental Working Group, ostensibly (but not really) rebuking Mrs. Norton for her invoking the Confederacy in defending states' rights. "Her deeply divisive remarks suggest she lacks a vital instinct to protect what needs protecting, whether it's the wilderness or the rights of people of color," Mr. Cook told The Washington Post. Note well how he gives equal weight to the "wilderness" — the rights of snail darters, stump moss and albino squirrels — and the rights of "people of color." What could be a plainer signal to environmentalists that the restoration of slavery is nigh?

Which brings us to John Ashcroft, whose defeat at the hands of Jean Carnahan made him available to be George W.'s attorney general. The CIA could easily have arranged that plane crash only a fortnight before the election, a tragedy for Mel Carnahan, a good career move for the widow and a crucial twist of the plot to restore slavery. Wasn't George W.'s daddy once the director of the CIA? Do you have to ask?

The carefully contrived Democratic "opposition," so called, to Mr. Ashcroft is further evidence that the slave auctions in Charleston and New Orleans will be reopening soon. The Baltimore Sun — Baltimore was a hotbed of seccesh sentiment only yesterday — published a remarkable essay on Sunday pretending to decry the Ashcroft nomination. It was headlined, with evident subversive pride: "A Confederate in the Cabinet." The crackle of the crinoline of the United Daughters of the Confederacy, dancing wildly in the streets of Baltimore, has been deafening all week. The author of the piece, the executive director of something called the Institute for Public Accuracy, never once —not even once — bothered to apply the adjectives "dreadful," "appalling," "frightful," "ghastly," "atrocious," "gruesome," "heinous," or "monstrous" to slavery, so we know what he really thinks of the peculiar institution.

Or consider the peculiar statement of Ralph G. Neas, the chairman of People for the American Way, which pretends to oppose the nomination: "John Ashcroft might make an excellent choice to head the Christian Coalition or the National Rifle Association . . .." Why is this man saying nice things about the man George W. chose to restore slavery in America? Not once in his remarks did Mr. Neas say that slavery is "despicable," "loathsome," "repulsive," "vile," "detestable" or "contemptible," as political correctness demands. To apply fewer than six of these adjectives at least twice in any speech (or column) about slavery is a sign of nostalgia for slavery and proof of membership in the Ku Klux Klan.

And what are we to make of the behavior of the favorite grandson of Flem Snopes, now on his endless farewell tour of the land to say goodbye to the people who gave him two terms as president of the United States? He is busily undermining the legitimacy of the government of the man Americans elected to succeed him, behavior unprecedented in the nation's history.

Mr. Clinton relishes the description of himself, first applied by the fictionist Toni Morrison, as "our first black president." But the president is also a descendant of a Confederate soldier of a Mississippi regiment, which no doubt explains why he is doing absolutely nothing to help Jesse and Al prevent the restoration of slavery. This is no half-vast conspiracy.

JWR contributor Wesley Pruden is editor in chief of The Washington Times. Comment by clicking here.


01/10/01: Mr. Lott's generosity to the Dems
01/05/01: Looking to the past for a bad example
01/03/01: A modest proposal for Arkansas folk
12/19/00: The reflexive sneer at George W. Bush
12/15/00: Taking inspiration from John Birch
12/12/00: It's time to raise high Florida's standards
12/08/00: A President Bush, and about time, too
12/05/00: Here come the judge --- and he's got a hook
11/28/00: Cry no tears for Al, lawyers are the losers
11/21/00: The useful loathing of America's sons
11/17/00: When this is all over, we spray for lawyers
11/14/00: Something murky in the twilight zone

11/10/00: Something sinister in Palm Beach

11/07/00: Low days in the life of the ruptured duck

11/06/00: A little race baiting in the final hours

11/01/00: Creator gets a hard time on the hustings

10/27/00: The sorcerer rides to rescue his apprentice

10/25/00: The founding father with a story to tell

10/23/00: A lonely passion for religious rights

10/16/00: Spending blood on the folly of fools

10/11/00: A big night for the embellisher-in-chief

10/06/00: AlGore's black problem

10/04/00: In headlong pursuit of the bigot vote

10/02/00: A modest proposal for Rick Lazio

09/27/00: When folks at home give up on a scamp

09/25/00: Gore plot exposed! The secret minutes

09/18/00: Playing politics with the blood supply

09/14/00: Al sets out to find his 'tolerance level'

09/12/00: When it's time for a thumb in the eye

09/07/00: Making a daughter a campaign asset

09/04/00: A footnote to the lie: How he beats the rap

08/30/00: Unbearable lightness of a cyberjournal

08/21/00: Clinton chickens on AlGore's roost

08/16/00: The long goodbye to California's cash

08/09/00: Innocence by proxy is a risky scheme

08/07/00: After insulin shock, an authentic rouser

08/02/00: When it gets hard not to get a little giddy

07/31/00: George W.'s legions of summer soldiers

07/26/00: He's set a surprise --- or a trap for himself

07/24/00: How do you serve a turkey in August?

07/19/00: Would Hillary sling a lie about a slur?

07/17/00: Process, not peace, at a Velveeta summit

07/12/00: The Texas two-step, a nudge and a wink

07/10/00: The Great Mentioner and his busy season

07/05/00: No Mexican standoff in these results

07/03/00: Denting a few egos in the U.S. Senate

06/28/00: Bureaucracy amok! Punctuation in peril!

06/26/00: The water torture of American resolve

06/21/00: The happy hangman is a busy hangman

06/19/00: Dick Gephardt finds a Dixie dreamboat

06/14/00: Taking a byte out of innovation

06/12/00: 'Go away, little boy, you're bothering us'

06/07/00: When a little envy is painful to watch

06/05/00: Fire and thunder, bubble and squeak

05/31/00: South of the border, politics is pepper

05/26/00: Running out of luck with home folks

05/24/00: The heart says no, but the head says yes

05/22/00: A fine opportunity to set an example

05/17/00: The Sunday school for Republicans

05/15/00: Hillary's surrogate for telling tall tales

05/10/00: Listening to the voice of an authentic man

05/08/00: First a lot of bluster, then the retreat

05/02/00: Good news for Rudy, bad news for Hillary

04/28/00: The long goodbye to Elian's boyhood

04/25/00: Spooked by Castro, Bubba blinks

04/14/00: One flag down and two memorials to go

04/11/00: Consistency finds a jewel in Janet Reno

04/07/00: Here's the good word (and it's in English)

04/04/00: When bureaucrats mock the courts

03/28/00: How Hollywood sets the virtual table

03/24/00: Dissing a president can ruin a whole day

03/20/00: When shame begets the painful insult

03/14/00: The risky business of making an apology

03/10/00: The pouters bugging a weary John McCain

03/07/00: When all good things (sob) come to an end

© 2000 Wes Pruden