Jewish World Review Dec. 20, 2002/ 15 Teves, 5763

Marianne M. Jennings

Marianne M. Jennings
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Mundane superlatives cause trouble


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Mundane superlatives squash superiority. Egalitarian self-esteemers spot little difference between Vin Diesel and Albert Einstein, except perhaps for the hair, or Albert Schweitzer and Robert Redford, except, again, perhaps for the hair. Trent Lott's effusive praise of retiring Senator Strom Thurmond made it seem as if the country lost its collective mind when it placed that ne'er-do-well Truman in the White House instead of this centenarian segregationist.

What is so all-fired difficult about speaking ill of the dead or alive when the dead or alive have no merit? Why this contrived genuflection that makes everyone a superstar? Lake Wobegon is passé. Above average is not good enough. In a world of saintly Tiny Tims and Melanie Hamiltons, we could use a few more Scrooges and Scarlett O'Haras for balance. The cynical skeptic is an endangered species.

Stupid folks do exist. Mean folk abound. Lazy folks are around, often in heaps with lushes. Yet, if we believe those who hurl superlatives, salvation is superfluous. Not everyone is praiseworthy. Contorting to find that praise got Lott into trouble.

I once read a story about a man being asked to give the eulogy for an acquaintance he described as an awful human being. He was asked to give the eulogy for this troll; despite being just a bystander in the thankfully departed's life, because neither friend nor family members would agree to eulogize the wretch. When the eulogist-by-default stood to speak at the funeral, he preserved his integrity and the truth about the deceased ogre by beginning his remarks to the all-too-knowing audience with, "You know, his brother was much worse."

The best that can be said about Strom Thurmond is that he turned 100 while in the Senate. When asked to honor such a man at his farewell, and farewells themselves are overused superlatives - who in the Senate isn't glad to see Thurmond go?, Lott had two choices. The first was to just say,"No!" to tributes to extremist coots.

The second was for Lott to ramble on, as all good politicians are trained to do, about public service and surviving 100 steamy Mississippi summers. Lott could have spoken benignly of Biloxi's growing charm. Instead, Lott fell into the societal trap of superlatives and waxed bizarrely about lost days and opportunities of segregation. The Republicans trounced the Democrats on the November election battlefield only to lose the war with a jolly good fellow speech for a racist with a great many birthday candles.

The superlatives trap not only causes trouble; it reduces the merit of the superior. Too many summa cum laudes means the laudes are no different from the drinking fraternity boys who had difficulty making it to class but will, one day, probably be elected to the U.S. Senate and then eulogized by frat brothers for social skills (translate: party animal) and leadership (translate: got the kegs to the parties on time). For many in the Senate, these would be the makings of a good colleague. Those skills got at least one Southern governor to the White House.

Superlatives elevate the mediocre beyond their stations. Robert Redford is a looker who chose films with good writing, but he's not Oscar material, and did not warrant last year's Oscar achievement award. Babs Streisand's superlative-laced introduction of her once-leading man made me think Gandhi would rise from the dead to collect the statue and then party at Spago. Redford's rambling acceptance speech had all the eloquence of what he is: a ski bum from Utah whose looks got him parts.

Princess Diana was a jetsetter who outwitted a sycophantic media into following her around among land mines and AIDS victims so as to create an image that saw her death trump Mother Teresa's in coverage and eulogies. Diana's brother's eulogy would have us believe that we were burying Joan of Arc instead of a clotheshorse mother of two who, with her paramour, was racing around the streets of Paris in the wee hours of the morning sans seat belt and wedding band.

John Kennedy, Jr.'s death saw weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth. Because it meant the none-too-soon demise of George and the Cindy Crawford covers?

Oprah hasn't changed the world - she's a talk show host who has lost weight, a few times. Dr. Phil is an amiable Texan, but he's not the answer to life's problems. My Big Fat Greek Wedding is funny, but it's not the best movie ever made. Can we comment without raves? Can we evaluate without blinders?

In a world of superlatives, the trivial becomes the critical. Wealth and fame are substitutes for merit. Death and old age bring undeserved adulation. Mr. Lott, victim of a superlatives-on-demand world, praised a man who opposed equal rights. Mr. Lott may fear that history will not be kind to him. Perhaps not, but his eulogist will. Should I be given the honor, I shall begin as follows, "You know, Strom Thurmond was much worse."

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JWR contributor Marianne M. Jennings is a professor of legal and ethical studies at Arizona State University. Send your comments by clicking here.

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© 2002, Marianne M. Jennings