In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review June 8, 2007 / 22 Sivan, 5767

Surviving summer with four kids and three animals

By Betsy Hart

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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Here's my summer plan:

Wait, back up. Four kids, three animals. (Did I mention I recently adopted a 2-year-old shepherd mix and two kittens? Yes, it's crazy. More on that later.) And me. Ten weeks. That's why I need a plan.

I don't mean a plan for day camps and tennis camps and reading logs and travel. I've got all that.

I mean a survival plan — for Mom and kids. When my children were really little it seemed so much easier. Now the age spread is 13 down to 6. Which makes me think that when it comes to raising kids it doesn't really "take a parent" — it actually takes a small army of very energetic adults.

Anyway, I sat the kids down at a meeting. Here's what I've decided. We have to do things differently this year. My goal is to work on "gratitude and graciousness."

This is not something at which my kids — or I — excel.

Now back up, back up. This isn't about "peace and quiet" in the home. I like a little chaos. I grew up with it. Full disclosure: I rather like the running and chasing and yelling my kids do. Most of the time the noise my children make is life giving to me. What I don't like, what isn't life giving, is when the decibel level gets high because of screaming, which is very different from yelling. And I don't like the bickering and especially don't like "MOM!!!" followed by complaints, accusations, general whining, ridiculous requests etc.

So, back to "gratitude and graciousness." For the first time, I'm developing a "summer contract" for each child. It starts with a preamble about family life, and peace, and gratefulness and, well, you get the picture. Of course, they'll skip right over it to see what's required of them.

What's required are little things like:

"I will neatly put away my shoes when I come into the house, and I won't complain about what's being served at mealtime."

Bigger things like:

"I will do my daily chores without delays or grumbling."

Really big things like:

"I will treat others with graciousness just as I would want to be treated."

And really, really big things like:

"Before I yell 'MOM,' I will ask myself: Can I solve this problem myself?"

In return, Mom will really try to be patient and to not raise her voice too much. For a certain number of "good" family days together — "good" being defined by me — there will be rewards like going go-carting. Or maybe indoor "rock climbing." Things we wouldn't otherwise typically do. (I'm afraid of heights, so I haven't actually put rock climbing in the contract yet.)

Meanwhile, we are going to be working on a great book for families this summer, "The Young Peacemaker" by Corlette Sande. It's about resolving family conflicts, and I'm really, really hoping it's as good as everyone says it is — because we could really use it.

Now, back to the animals. Here's where it all came together for me. The kittens are basically "plug and play," but the dog is different. I've never owned one before, but I've been promising a dog to the kids for about five years, so it was time. Anyway, I'm learning that with a dog, one has to be a "pack leader" right from the start. (I've become a devotee of "The Dog Whisperer" by Cesar Millan.) When a dog trusts and follows his leader, it seems most everything else falls into place.


So my ultimate summer plan is just that. I think the "contracts" are a great start. But the big picture is that I simply need to do a better job this summer of establishing myself — re-establishing myself — as my children's pack leader! For all our sakes.

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"It Takes a Parent : How the Culture of Pushover Parenting is Hurting Our Kids — and What to Do About It"  

"Hart urges parents to focus...on instilling industry, frugality, sincerity and humility. She encourages parents to reclaim the word "no." Contrary to advice you may have received, you needn't give your child choices, or offer alternatives, or explain to little Suzie why she can't eat eight cookies right before bed-you're the parent, and sometimes you can just say no."

  —   Kirkus Reports

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