In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review March 22, 2013/ 11 Nissan, 5773

When Not Tying the Knot Is Not Good

By Suzanne Fields

http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | We pay outsize attention to women at the top, about whether they lean in or lean back, about whether they act like men and even about whether they act like women. After decades of feminism's telling women they can control their own destiny, scoring a seat on the fast-moving monorail to success is finally possible. But the seats are restricted. That's why so many women are so angry at Marissa Mayer, the CEO of Yahoo, who built a nursery next to her office for her baby but insists that her staff members, mothers included, leave their children behind and work at the office.

Like it or not (and some apparently don't), women are still women, which means they continue to wear a different biological makeup than men. When they become mothers, it shows — and in a lot of ways. As far as I know, no male CEO would build a nursery next to his office. (Maybe a putting green, but a nursery? No.)

No matter how firmly we tell women to be more like men — to shape, stretch, discipline and work to overcome biological determinants — biology keeps emerging as a crucial factor. Like everything else in life, it affects the less privileged women in a different, downsized way.

This becomes abundantly clear when we look at women having babies. The good news is that we've lowered the rate of teenage pregnancy. For two decades, the number has been going down. But the bad news is that women in their 20s — who have entered the age of adult consent, for being responsible for their own behavior — are not showing the good sense of their younger sisters.

If "30's the new 20" (as rapper Jay-Z puts it), unmarried 20-somethings are the new teen moms, write the authors of the cleverly titled "Knot Yet: The Benefits and Costs of Delayed Marriage in America," a report encouraged by the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia. Women in their 20s are driving America's all-time high level of childbearing outside marriage, which stands now at 41 percent of births.

This statistic is partly a consequence of people's delaying marriage. Marriage occurs later now than ever before: 27 for women and 29 for men. That's up from 23 for women and 26 for men in 1990 and 20 and 22, respectively, in 1960. Delaying marriage — if it doesn't cause a woman to bump into a biological clock — has usually been thought to be beneficial to women but contingent on education and economic class.

Marrying later has special economic benefits for college-educated women in their 30s, who tend to describe their marriage as a "capstone" rather than a "cornerstone" in their lives; it's something they do after "they get all their other ducks in a row." They'll typically earn more annually than their college-educated sisters who marry earlier. No such benign interpretations can be found for the poorest among us.

Long gone is Jane Austen's world, where the gentry was obsessed with young marriages, largely because of the economic considerations of the man. What also has changed is the social pressure applied to a man to marry the woman he gets pregnant.

For high-school dropouts, who make up our poorest families, 83 percent of the women give birth without being married to the father. The knowledge economy makes it difficult for these women, as well as most of the men they meet, to get good jobs. Such women usually agree it's better, psychologically and economically, not to get pregnant, but the lack of a positive work identity makes it easier to slip "unintentionally" into motherhood without marriage. They don't have other ducks to get in a row.

The sexual revolution offered equal sexual opportunities to both sexes, as it erased the harsh stigma attached to pregnancy without a husband, but it did not produce equal economic results for the man and the woman who create a baby. Among college graduates, only 12 percent of women give birth without what our grandmothers called "benefit of clergy."

Many unmarried lower-income women in their 20s cohabit with the father of the child, but even if they do, the likelihood that he will be around in five years is not high. He is three times likelier to be gone by their child's fifth birthday, as compared with married couples their age. Other children follow, with another "partner" or "partners," and the statistics that accompany such insecure beginnings with low earnings range from grim to very grim. Climbing into the middle class may be deferred and is often a dream destroyed.

The social experts are asking teachers, policymakers and even show business celebrities to join a national conversation about the damaging illegitimacy rates among young adults to emphasize the importance of marriage for having children.

While gays fight in the courts to tie a knot as the way to establish security and stability in their relationships — even for raising children — it's a sad irony that so many less educated heterosexual couples with children choose not to marry nonetheless. Strange fruit of our time.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

Comment on JWR contributor Suzanne Fields' column by clicking here.


Suzanne Fields Archives

© 2006, Creators Syndicate, Suzanne Fields