|
Jewish World Review /Nov. 19, 1998/30 Mar-Cheshvan, 5759
Larry Elder
Will the real hypocrite stand up!?
MONICA LEWINSKY, IN A FIT OF PIQUE because President Clinton failed to acknowledge their
relationship, goes to the National Enquirer and sells her story for a million bucks.
The result? Monica Lewinsky becomes so thoroughly vilified that, by comparison, Linda Tripp
looks like the queen of the 1998 Tournament of Roses, and Paula Jones the first runner-up.
The tramp who brought down the president! The vast right-wing conspiracy strikes again!
But consider the case of Dr. Laura Schlessinger, the popular advice-giving, values-oriented
radio talk-show host. A former mentor and lover, Bill Ballance, sold 20-year-old nude
pictures of Dr. Laura to an Internet provider. Soon, hundreds of thousands of Americans saw
pictures of Dr. Laura au naturel, and the high-fiving began.
Hypocrite! How dare she give advice on morality, probity and appropriate behavior! And she
was still married (although estranged).
The
columnist said, "But instead of merely scolding her listeners, I wish she'd own up more
readily to her own frailties and indiscretions. ... "
To her critics, Dr. Laura peddles the
image of a straight-course life, no detours, turbulence or indiscretions. Gotcha! Why, she
doesn't even speak to her own mother, yet harps about the importance of family cohesiveness.
Fraud!
But don't we assume that Dr. Laura, like most of us, lived a life, made mistakes, from which
she acquired wisdom? Did she pronounce herself the embodiment of perfection, sculpting a
mistake-free life as the Virgin Mary of Talk Radio? If so, I missed that show.
Let's return to the president. Months after being "serviced" by Lewinsky, the president
authorized $250 million for programs urging abstinence from sex before marriage and
condemning extramarital sex. Can you say "hypocrisy"?
And, of course, according to the president and the first lady, everything is about the
children, the children, the children.
Clinton defenders applaud him for lying under oath because, they say, he deceived only to
protect the sensibilities of wife and daughter. But pundits condemn Dr. Laura for failing to
broadcast her past. So, Dr. Laura, without prompting, and certainly not under oath, must come
forward and say, "Ladies and gentlemen, over 20 years ago, I had some nude pictures taken."
Does this mean the president should have taken to the airwaves and said, "My fellow
Americans, I am currently having an affair with a 22-year-old intern. Just wanted you to
know. Thank you and good night"?
And what about the "mentor," Bill Ballance, who ratted Dr. Laura out? Apparently, his
justification for exposing the pictures stems from Dr. Laura's failure to acknowledge him as
an inspiration for her career. Ballance, according to one Dr. Laura critic, felt
"marginalized." Put aside the argument, for which there is some merit, that Dr. Laura
"brought this all on herself." What about some vermin who attempts to destroy her reputation
and offend her fans by selling nude photos to an Internet provider? (Oh, I'm sure the money
goes directly to some charity, probably the Make-A-Wish Foundation.) So, the guy's ticked
that he didn't get more credit and seeks payback by turning Dr. Laura into a Hustler
centerfold. Nice.
But suppose Monica Lewinsky had done the same thing to The Prez. After all, Lewinsky could
far more readily justify going public than could Ballance. After having sex with the
president, Lewinsky felt that he didn't even know her name. Clinton, according to Lewinsky,
complained about a loveless marriage and said that he may divorce after leaving the White
House. Thus, he signaled, wink-wink, nudge-nudge, that the future holds promise for the
president and Lewinsky. Lewinsky later grew angry when newspapers published photos of the
president and Hillary in loving embrace. The president then dumped her, later calling her a
"stalker."
An old story, Dr. Laura's. Work hard, rise to the top, get rich, make enemies through
jealousy and competitiveness.
Had Lewinsky sold out the president the way Ballance did Dr. Laura, Monica might have found
happiness in the witness protection program. She could have sought relative anonymity in,
gee, I don't know, maybe Borneo. But, then, they probably get CNN, too.
Imagine. Monica sits in the Hard Rock Cafe in Jakarta, and some drunk comes up to her.
Slurring his words, he says, "Are you the tramp that brought down the president?"
As for me, I subscribe to the Pat Robertson dictum: "As for the sins of my youth, either the
Lord has forgiven me, or the statute of limitations has run
One smirking columnist admitted that she took delight in Dr. Laura's "unmasking." After all,
doesn't Dr. Laura holds herself out as this beacon of common sense and moral justice?
Dr. Laura
11/13/98: The Clinton 400
10/23/98: My evening with Chris Rock
10/15/98: Slavery is not funny
10/02/98: Clinton --- friend of the working woman
9/28/98: George Washington vs. the Grand Jury
9/18/98: It's the perjury, stupid
9/14/98: The "Larry List" of the most fascinating women in politics
9/07/98: Why blacks shouldn't support Clinton
8/27/98:The Brown bomber strikes Justice Thomas
8/21/98:So very clintonesque
8/17/98: Gary Coleman, hate criminal?
8/07/98: How much mea culpa?
7/24/98: ATM Al?
7/24/98: Advising the advisors
7/17/98: Camille Cosby's carelessness
7/9/98: Moses mugged
7/2/98: Al Campanis -- forever a racist?
6/25/98: And you thought "coke" was worse than smokes
6/19/98: Is Jasper ‘America'?
6/12/98: Guess who's not coming to dinner
6/5/98: What now, NOW?
5/29/98:What's next, ‘burger busters'?
5/21/98: 'Stuff' happens
5/18/98: This just in
5/11/98: Stepping up
4/30/98: Who's faking whom?
4/23/98:PRESIDENTIAL HOOP DREAMS
4/16/98:To spank or not to spank
4/10/98:TWA: TEACHING WHILE ASIAN