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Jewish World Review /Oct. 23, 1998/3 Mar-Cheshvan, 5759
Larry Elder
My evening with
CHRIS ROCK rocks.
So I was flattered and excited when a booker called from the comedian's HBO show.
Want to appear as a guest?
"Absolutely," I said. "Let's do it."
If you're unfamiliar with young black comic Chris Rock, too bad. Oh, his raw,
in-your-face humor won't suit everyone's taste. He is hip, witty, brash and sometimes
vulgar. Oh, and funny. Real funny. Part Richard Pryor, part Mort Sahl, Rock, recently
profiled on "60 Minutes," blasts away at what I call the victicrat mentality. Blacks
complain that the media distorts our images. Get real, Rock says, when I nervously go
to a money machine at night, I ain't lookin' over my shoulder for the media!
For example, I am pro-choice and believe that gays should be able to serve openly in
the military and that the state ought not stop homosexuals from marrying. I find the war
on drugs foolish, and support the legalization of gambling and prostitution. If that's
conservatism, I said, don't tell Newt Gingrich, Trent Lott or Jerry Falwell. He laughed
and said that Rock will first give me a chance to define my ideology. Great, I thought,
young people know little about libertarianism, and I will happily explain it. Get 'em
thinking.
"What about the Clinton scandal?" he asks. Impeach him, I responded. Assuming the
allegations are true -- perjury, subornation of perjury, obstruction of justice -- these are
impeachable offenses. A country built on the rule of law cannot give a free pass to
anyone, especially the nation's No. 1 law enforcement officer.
He then asks my position on several issues. Affirmative action? Agin' it, I said. Morally
wrong, and maintains the myth that but for affirmative action, there is no black middle
class.
Gun control? Agin' it, I said. In states where citizens can carry concealed weapons, the
murder rate declined.
Minimum wage? Agin' it. Hate-crimes legislation? Agin' it. A lot of stuff to cover, I
thought, in a mere six or seven minutes.
All right. It's show time!
"Our first guest is the controversial ... talk show host, Larry Elder," Chris Rock
bellowed. I bounded out to a young, largely black audience, whipped into a frenzy by
Rock's manic energy and funny opening monologue.
"I saw you on '60 Minutes' and Politically Incorrect,'" Rock said, "And you're
... the first black guy I saw ... that said Clinton should get impeached. Why?" I said that
it appears the president lied under oath, tried to get others to lie, tampered with
witnesses and organized an obstruction of justice.
Rock went bonkers. It was consensual sex! What's wrong with that? Turning to the
audience, he said, if you have sex with me, I'll give you a job. Obstruction of justice? If
you get pulled over by a cop, and deny speeding, "If you don't say 'take my black
(behind) to jail,' you are obstructing justice." Sexual harassment? "I wouldn't be here if
my father hadn't sexually harassed my mom!" As hard as I tried, I often couldn't
out-shout him and struggled to make serious points while cracking up at his quips, lines
and wit.
But, Chris, I argued, people go to jail for committing perjury. For lying about consensual
sex, Rock asked. "That's right," I said. The audience booed. (Fortunately, none, to the
best of my knowledge, sit on the House Judiciary Committee.) Yet I extracted a
smattering of applause by insisting that America derives its strength from a foundation
based on the rule of law and the Constitution. After what seemed like 90 seconds
(actually nearly 9 minutes), I exited, stage left.
"You are the best guest we've ever had," said producer George.
"I was?" I said.
"You stood up to him, when most guests would have run for cover."
I didn't recall getting a word in edgewise, but when I looked at the show later, I was
relieved that I'd said more than I remembered and made more sense than I thought.
Later, my mother asked why I let Rock "run all over me." Brutal critic, my mom. If she'd
gone into politics, she would have been president. If she'd gone into crime, she would
have been the Boston Strangler.
"Aw, c'mon, Mom," I said, "I had a good time, flew first class to New York and got to
go at it on national TV with perhaps the best and most creative comic of our time."
Too bad, though, I never got to the libertarian stuff. But they want me back. Maybe
then, I'll get to use the "L" word. OK, Mr. Rock, round
Chris Rock
So off to New York for the taping. During the "pre-interview," Rock's savvy producer,
Nelson George, said, "You call yourself a libertarian. What's the difference between
that and a conservative?" A libertarian, I explain, believes in limited government that
stays out of my wallet, as well as my bedroom.
Rock
10/15/98: Slavery is not funny
10/02/98: Clinton --- friend of the working woman
9/28/98: George Washington vs. the Grand Jury
9/18/98: It's the perjury, stupid
9/14/98: The "Larry List" of the most fascinating women in politics
9/07/98: Why blacks shouldn't support Clinton
8/27/98:The Brown bomber strikes Justice Thomas
8/21/98:So very clintonesque
8/17/98: Gary Coleman, hate criminal?
8/07/98: How much mea culpa?
7/24/98: ATM Al?
7/24/98: Advising the advisors
7/17/98: Camille Cosby's carelessness
7/9/98: Moses mugged
7/2/98: Al Campanis -- forever a racist?
6/25/98: And you thought "coke" was worse than smokes
6/19/98: Is Jasper ‘America'?
6/12/98: Guess who's not coming to dinner
6/5/98: What now, NOW?
5/29/98:What's next, ‘burger busters'?
5/21/98: 'Stuff' happens
5/18/98: This just in
5/11/98: Stepping up
4/30/98: Who's faking whom?
4/23/98:PRESIDENTIAL HOOP DREAMS
4/16/98:To spank or not to spank
4/10/98:TWA: TEACHING WHILE ASIAN