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Jewish World Review June 30, 2000/27 Sivan, 5760

Larry Elder

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Consumer Reports

Summer of hypocrites -- SUMMER IS HERE, and again we awaken to the smell of magnolias, honeysuckle and hypocrisy.

Anti-gunner Rosie O'Donnell certainly deserves whatever personal protection she deems necessary. She fears for her child's safety and thus hired a bodyguard to accompany him. But isn't this a tad inconsistent? After all, O'Donnell opposes permits to allow citizens to carry concealed weapons, yet bodyguards carry guns. But wait, says Rosie. Her bodyguard won't be packing. Case closed? Well, not quite. Most people cannot afford bodyguards, armed or not. So the choices O'Donnell leaves for others remain limited to two -- leave yourself unprotected, or get wealthy enough to afford someone to stand around and chase people away.

And then we have "Politically Incorrect" host Bill Maher, whose anti-Second Amendment rantings rival Rosie O'Donnell's. After a recent shooting, Maher called the NRA "one step removed" from the murder. But weeks later, Maher admitted that the Los Angeles 1992 riot scared him, "I remember getting a gun for that very reason ... " But, understand, Maher didn't actually purchase a gun, rather he obtained it "from a friend."

Of course there's the continuing bashing of John Rocker. In the infamous "Sports Illustrated" interview, Rocker said, "Imagine having to take the (No.) 7 train to the ballpark, looking like you're (riding through) Beirut next to some kid with purple hair next to some queer with AIDS right next to some dude who just got out of jail for the fourth time right next to some 20-year-old mom with four kids."

In Tom Wolfe's brilliant novel, "Bonfire of the Vanities," he talks about the media's desire for pursuing white male miscreants. Wolfe calls the media obsession with beating up on whites the search for the "great white defendant." This remains America's safe target.

John Rocker possesses no National Organization for Women, no National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, no Mexican-American Legal Defense Fund, no Gay and Lesbian Rights Alliance. To paraphrase former presidential candidate Bill Bradley, a guy like Rocker benefits from "white male privilege." Time to pay up, dude. So the media follows his every move. Rocker gets demoted to the minors! Rocker may ride the 7-train when he next returns to New York! Rocker gets a root canal! What fun!


But what about white rapper Marshall Mathers, a.k.a. Eminem? As JWR columnist Michelle Malkin notes, Eminem's "poetry" reeks of misogyny, profanity, and an obsession with sex and drugs. Oh, yeah, and then there's the "song" about the murder of the mother of Eminem's daughter. The rapper, along with the daughter, then removes the corpse from the trunk, and, together, they bury the late mommy: "Here, you wanna help da-da tie a rope around this rock?/We'll tie it to her footsie then we'll roll her off the dock ... "

Another "song" features the enchanting line, "Mother ... are you there? I love you/I never meant to hit you over the head with that shovel." Somehow the same crowd that wants Rocker stoned seems oblivious to Eminem's frequent use of terms like "bitch" and "f--- this."

About the rapper, New York Times cultural critic Neil Strauss gushes, "(Eminem) is blessed with the ability to make any two words with a letter in common rhyme, filling his albums with a logorrhea brimming with complex internal rhyme schemes and rhythmic repetitions." Huh? Rocker bad, Eminem good.

And finally there's Spike Lee. The director blasted fellow director Quentin Tarantino for his use of the "N" word. "I'm not against the word," said Lee, "and I use it, but not excessively (emphasis added). And some people speak that way. But Quentin is infatuated with that word." Lee noted that in a recent movie, Tarantino used the word 38 times, "I want Quentin to know that all African-Americans do not think that word is trendy or slick."

But, wasn't that The Director sitting next to comedian Chris Rock at a recent NBA playoff game? And isn't Chris Rock the comic who does a whole routine about the use of the "N" word: "There's like a civil war goin' on with black people, and there's two sides: black people and 'n's.' The 'n's' have got to go. Can't go to a movie the first week it come out. Why? 'Cause 'n's' are shootin' up the screen." But, look at it this way, Rock kept it under a non-excessive 38 times.

And the moral to the story? Lesson No. 1, you shouldn't carry a gun, unless you're scared and concerned about self-defense. Then other people shouldn't carry guns. Lesson No. 2, Rocker-type bigotry, vulgarity and insensitivity are unacceptable. Unless, of course, you are a rapper. And lesson No. 3, the "N" word offends blacks when heard in a movie by a white director, but not when heard in a routine by a black comedian.

Any questions?

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© 2000, Creators Syndicate