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June 29th, 2022

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Seriously: Hilarious Kennedy Should Replace Useless McConnell as Senate GOP Chief

Deroy Murdock

By Deroy Murdock

Published December 13, 2021

Scientists have yet to create a perpetual-motion machine. However, the perpetual-quotation machine has been invented and is functioning beautifully. His name is John Kennedy, and he should become Senate GOP leader.

The Louisiana Republican is a priceless media resource. When a journalist needs a colorful observation on current events, Kennedy delivers more swiftly than FedEx.

Kennedy once said the Senate "is like high school, but nobody ever graduates." He described a superficial "fix" to ObamaCare as "putting paint on rotting wood." He is no fan of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. He said about the California Democrat: "I don't mean any disrespect, but it must suck to be that dumb."

"Putin is a wolf," Kennedy told Fox News Channel's Sean Hannity Tuesday night. "I think he thinks President Biden is a sheep in sheep's clothing."

Kennedy spoke with Fox's Maria Bartiromo on Sunday in a combination interview and stand-up comedy routine.

Referring to the Build Back Better Act, Biden's $2.4 trillion to $4.8 trillion gateway drug to American socialism, Kennedy said, "The only way I know how to improve that is with a shredder. It's going to fuel inflation. When a Hot Pocket costs you $10, remember, we're building back better."

Kennedy dismissed Biden's $1.2 trillion "fake infrastructure bill" as "craptastic." Kennedy explained: "I didn't vote for the infrastructure bill because only 23 percent of it went to infrastructure. And I wasn't going to spend taxpayer money to buy a car to get the cupholders."

Kennedy strongly challenged Saule Omarova, Biden's Kazakh-born, Soviet-educated, neo-Leninist, and now-withdrawn nominee for Comptroller of the Currency. As she faced confirmation before the Senate Banking Committee, Kennedy grilled this Cornell Law School, faculty member:

"In 2020, you wrote another paper called 'The Climate Case for a National Investment Authority,' where you said: 'What we need to do to the oil and gas industry is have the federal government bankrupt them, so we can tackle climate change.'. . . I don't know whether to call you professor or comrade."

Kennedy chided Biden for naming a slew of other far-Left fanatics to federal agencies, such as First Amendment foe Gigi Sohn, now under scrutiny for a seat on the Federal Communications Commission. "I think they are one of the reasons that President Biden's poll numbers are on a journey to the center of the Earth," Kennedy quipped. "'Be yourself' is the worst advice you can give some people. And so many of President Biden's nominees are just barking mad."

Kennedy described Biden's picks as "crypto-socialists." He added: "They're fanatical. I mean, if you ask them to consider another point of view, their neck veins bulge, and they call you a Nazi or a racist. We try to question them in committee. But they don't answer the questions. They just refer you — excuse my language — they just refer you to bullshit.com."

Kennedy urged Biden to restore sanctions on the Nord Stream 2 natural-gas pipeline: "We will get Russia down, and then we can choke them."

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Kennedy is a solid, if not rigid, conservative with twin 84 percent lifetime ratings from the American Conservative Union and the Club for Growth, with both of which I have collaborated for years. Beyond being reliably hilarious, the University of Virginia lawyer and Oxford University graduate also is a sharp interrogator in oversight hearings, as assertive as a Mardi Gras Indian, and suitably defiant of authority.

For his next act of defiance, Kennedy should topple the exhausted chairman of the Senate Cave-in Caucus, Kentucky's Mitch McConnell (ACU 87; CFG 74). In yet another milquetoast milestone, the Senate's Republican "leader" swallowed Democrats' pending-default lies, and agreed this week to help Democrats raise the federal debt ceiling. In exchange, McConnell got. . . absolutely nothing. This is precisely what he pledged not to do, in a now-meaningless October 8 letter to President Joe Biden.

Seeing Senator John Kennedy stand tall in McConnell's wobbly shoes would give conservatives the last laugh.

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