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July 7th, 2022

Insight

Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

Argus Hamilton

By Argus Hamilton

Published Dec. 28, 2021

Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report
President Biden is reportedly considering going on the road and selling Build Back Better to the American people. When on the road he's often photographed gulping down an ice cream cone. It must be nice to be able to eat ice cream as fast as you want and not have to worry about a brain freeze.

Wall Street roared to record highs Friday after investors decided that Omicron is really weak despite the White House, Fauci and the media ringing the alarm bells. One study reveals that the group least affected by the Omicron variant are the Amish. That's because they don't watch television.

Nancy Pelosi admitted to reporters Friday that smash-and-grab mobs are causing an epidemic of lawlessness in the big city retail districts this year. She used cautious language so as not to offend the Democratic base. Nancy insisted they are not looters, they are Undocumented Shoppers.

American Heritage asserted that CRT's racial narrative is separating Americans by race once again. Cal State schools now allow blacks-only dorms and Columbia has a blacks-only graduation ceremony. At the rate Progressives are bringing back segregation, it could disband the Ku Klux Klan.

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Science Journal reported last week that the chances of the Earth getting struck by an asteroid are four in ten thousand. Meanwhile the CDC computed that the chances of you dying of Covid are two in ten thousand. So if you're hell-bent on following the science, drop the mask and wear a helmet.

Dr. Fauci spoke to ABC News last week and made no mention of Pfizer's new anti-virus Covid cure pill, but he did encourage more mandates and proposed permanently masking up on airline flights. Fauci turned 81 Friday. If you'd like to get him a gift he's registered at Quack's Fifth Avenue.

President Biden adopted a German Shepherd puppy and named her Commander. Somebody's finally in the West Wing who knows how to turn things around. When inflation continues to rage out of control, Build Back Better stalls, and your approval ratings are in the crapper, you get a puppy.

Russia's Vladimir Putin demanded NATO not recruit Ukraine as a member or risk a war that could go nuclear. There's surprisingly little concern about nuclear war on our college campuses. I say so what if today's college kids don't know what Armageddon means, it's not the end of the world.

The Los Angeles Times quoted farmers in the San Joaquin Valley Sunday warning that high gas prices and labor costs will spike fruit and vegetable prices this year. Deception runs rampant. I hate it when I think I am buying organic vegetables but when I get home, they're just glazed donuts.

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