July 7th, 2022


Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

Argus Hamilton

By Argus Hamilton

Published Dec. 16, 2021

Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report
NBC News reports holiday cards might arrive late in the mail due to slow mail service coupled with a shortage of Hallmark cards at stores due to the supply chain backup. This year the holiday pace is bewildering. I cannot believe it's Omicron season already, I still have my Delta decorations up.

Governor Gavin Newsom re-instated the mask mandate for all Californians at indoor events in reaction to a slight uptick in cases since Thanksgiving, leaving a lot of Californians exasperated. Just because everyone is tired of something doesn't mean that it's over. Look at all the married people.

L.A.'s Forest Lawn Cemetery said it will obey the state order for all businesses to mask up. You certainly wouldn't want the dead to get any sicker than they already are. Last funeral, I felt a little unsettled driving into Forest Lawn when my GPS blurted out you have reached your final destination.

The White House got questioned Tuesday about District Attorneys who let smash-grab thieves back on the street with no bail. Retailers have had it. Yesterday I was sitting in a recliner watching a movie, eating a pint of ice cream and minding my own damned business, and WalMart calls the cops.

President Biden gave a remote interview to Jimmy Fallon on the Tonight Show last week and when asked why his approval ratings are so low, the president said the economy is just fine, he just insisted that nobody is listening to him. Inflation is getting out of hand. That's just my three cents.

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President Biden took a lot of kidding for his gaffe at the Christmas Tree Lighting Friday when he praised the emcee, rap star LL Cool J, as a great former football player who could still play today. Only an idiot would want to lead a country during a pandemic. Fortunately we have Joe Biden.

Las Vegas renamed its huge airport after Democrat former House Speaker Harry Reid. In his memoir he says as a boy he worked as a janitor in a brothel in Nevada. And in one of the great success stories of all time, Harry worked his way up to run the Best Little Whorehouse on the Potomac.

Jeffrey Epstein's associate Ghislaine Maxwell will call thirty-five defense witnesses when her trial resumes today for recruiting and grooming underage girls for her boss. Jeffrey Epstein was easy to spot in the casinos. He was always at the blackjack tables, hitting on seventeen and under.

North Korea's Kim Jung Un will stage a military parade to celebrate the tenth anniversary of his rule over the Hermit Kingdom. He succeeded his father. Kim's bio says as a kid he aspired to be an actor, but I guess you can't perform dinner theater in a country with no theaters and no dinner.