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Jewish World Review Dec. 28, 2020 Rogue Report By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
President Trump vetoed the Defense Bill and demanded Congress give $2,000 in Covid relief, not $600. Now Democrats side with Trump on relief and Republicans hope they can work with Biden on defense. It's easy being a comedian when you have the entire government working for you.
• Baby It's Cold Outside sung by Capitol Records founder Johnny Mercer was taken off the air in L.A. because feminists say it encourages date rape. It's a sexy 1946 holiday love song. If today's radio stations consider Baby It's Cold Outside offensive, then I fear for the future of White Christmas.
• Christmas Eve church services around the world Thursday had to celebrate the birth of Christ by streaming online. Secular trends were killing church attendance anyway. Thousands of young men in California say they used to be Christian, but they say they are much happier now as Christine.
• Moderna was the second pharmaceutical company to get a Covid virus vaccine approved by the FDA last week after Pfizer's approval. Conspiracy theories about the vaccine's content are swirling. The only thing that would scare Los Angeles about the vaccine would be if it had gluten in it.
• The National Institute on Aging said exercise for seniors is key to a long life and consuming protein for muscle is healthier than losing weight. Baby Boomers were never supposed to age. You know you are past sixty if you drop something on the floor then ask yourself if you really need it.
• Market Watch warned Americans that Social security won't meet a retiree's expenses in thirty years, which will require additional income. As if on cue, an eighty-year-old woman was arrested in Pittsburgh last week for prostitution. She's listed in the Yellow Pages as the Oldest Trick in the Book.
• Prime Minister Boris Johnson got a Brexit deal Thursday, allowing England to connect more naturally with her English-speaking former Colonies, unimpeded by the EU's rules and sovereignty. Britain's departure leaves Europe under the domination of Germany. What could possibly go wrong?
• Hallmark laid off a hundred people due to market changes they blame on Amazon commerce and stores closed by Covid. So this week's greetings are up to us. To my Jewish friends, I'd like to wish a happy Festival of Lights, and to my black friends a happy Festival of Newport Menthol Lights.
• The House of Representatives overwhelmingly passed the Covid relief bill on Monday but not without some angry feelings. Congresswoman Ilhan Omar blamed President Trump for the loss of her father to Covid virus. The loss was doubly painful because her father was also her father-in-law. • Congress passed a Covid relief bill Monday that only gave Americans six hundred dollars. I've one question for the Democrats. If I take my six hundred dollar Covid check and run it through a Dominion voting machine at four in the morning will it miraculously become ten thousand dollars? • The White House reported Moderna obtained FDA approval for its Covid vaccine, along with Pfizer's, both now in distribution, prompting resistance to inoculation due to conspiracy theories. Did you know that everyone who took the first smallpox vaccine in 1798 has died? It makes you think. • Attorney General William Barr said he will let the Justice Department probe Hunter Biden, not a Special Counsel. Hunter can't deny he enjoyed a privileged life under Joe. How many other kids in Washington got a billion and a half dollars from a Chinese bank on Take Your Child to Work Day? • The White House admitted a massive computer hack was launched on U.S. defense systems and diplomatic communications. Democrats immediately blamed the attack on Russia and Republicans blamed the attack on China. America hasn't lost all its marbles but there's definitely a hole in the bag. • New York City replaced Christmas Eve with Dr. Fauci Day Thursday. I give up. The scientific community that says you can wipe out a virus by allowing the government to control your behavior is the same scientific community that tells you a man can become a woman by changing his pronouns.
JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2020, Argus Hamilton |
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