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Jewish World Review Dec. 9, 2020 Rogue Report By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Elon Musk"s personal worth passed $150 billion during a Tesla stock rally Monday as he plotted to move his company from California to Texas over all the onerous Covid restrictions. Elon Musk is an absolute genius. If you miss two payments on the Tesla Model S, it drives itself back to the dealership.
• Science News reported that strange monoliths suddenly appearing in the deserts of Utah and California and two other countries drew global interest. Monday, a BBC news anchor reported that another mysterious monolith just appeared without warning in Holland. That"s a minaret, you idiot.
• NBC News praised Joe Biden for his honesty during a press conference Monday after he refused to answer a question. It"s a new world. There was concern among reporters when one of their questions didn"t have the ten-foot arc on it, as required by the rules of slow-pitch softball.
• The Chicago Tribune reported the city has had 730 homicides so far this year, which is up 225 homicides from last year. The deaths result mostly from shootouts between young black men on the city"s South Side. Oddly enough, in Chicago the corona virus actually lowered the death rate. • Great Britain beat the U.S. to the punch in approving the Pfizer vaccine as the inoculations have already begun, and the results are great. Ever since my aunt in England got the vaccine Thursday, she"s been like a totally different person. I guess they gave her the wrong the micro-chip. • The London Daily Mail reports English tourists are flocking to see the new Poison Garden at the Duke of Northumberland"s Alnwick Garden. In this garden grows every type of poison plant that can kill you, like hemlock or strychnine. Americans have one question, do they have a gift shop? • The Times Square Alliance in New York announced the annual ball-drop on New Year"s Eve at midnight will be a virtual celebration, but will include performers. We"ll probably all be thinking along the same line. My New Year"s Resolution for 2021 is to try and get out of the house a little more.
JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
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© 2020, Argus Hamilton |
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