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Jewish World Review Dec. 3, 2020 Rogue Report By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Barack Obama admitted he sought classified information about UFOs and extra terrestrials as president, but wouldn't say what he knows. This week, a strange stone Monolith suddenly popped up in the Red Rock area of southeast Utah. Astral physicists have identified it as Mitt Romney.
• FIFA called every national soccer club into mourning over the death of Argentine World Cup legend Maradona. They suggested all teams retire the uniform number 10 in honor of Maradona. Wouldn't it be more fitting if they called on the groundskeepers to remove all the white lines instead?
• The Alabama Crimson Tide tightened their grip on the number-one college football ranking after defeating Auburn on the field 42-13 in the Iron Bowl. The victory was short-lived. After the mail-in votes were counted, Auburn ended up winning the Iron Bowl, defeating Alabama 2600-42.
• Attorney General William Barr told the AP the Justice Department has found no substantial evidence of voter fraud on Tuesday. In the last month, courts and legislatures in five contested states have ruled likewise. Joe Biden's won this election so many times he's in his sixth term already.
• Rudy Giuliani asked the Trump campaign for twenty thousand dollars a day legal fees in spite of the results he's produced. In the old days, the surest way to end up behind bars was if Rudy Giuliani was prosecuting you. Today the surest was to wind up behind bars is if he's representing you.
• Joe Biden was placed in an ankle cast after he tripped and fell down while roughhousing with his rescue German Shepherd in Delaware. Saturday Night Live immediately put Chevy Chase on stand-by. You know you've been in the basement too long when you get attacked by a dog you rescued. • Joe Biden named former Senator and Secretary of State John Kerry to be the administration's climate envoy to the world. There's little doubt some recent weather episodes have inspired fear. Before Japan's huge 2011 earthquake and tsunami which engulfed Fukushima, it was called Ushima. • The CDC met to decide which segment of society will get the vaccine first. I have one question. After nine months of infections, quarantine, riots, bar and restaurant shutdowns, and a highly suspicious election, am I the only one still upset over the scourge of plastic drinking straws?
JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
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© 2020, Argus Hamilton |
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