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Jewish World Review December 15, 2014 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
• Business Insider reported the prescription medication epidemic, saying twelve million Americans are hooked on the drugs. Experts blame the epidemic on a culture of pain management that surfaced in the medical community ten years ago. As Bill Cosby might put it, where there's a pill, there's a way.
• CIA Director John Brennan disputed Senator Dianne Feinstein's torture report on Thursday which accused the CIA of interrogating al-Qaeda prisoners in a way that doesn't reflect our values. However the senator is perfectly fine with targeting terrorists with drone attacks. Who doesn't love weddings?
• CNN's Anderson Cooper compared the CIA's enhanced interrogation of al-Qaeda terror suspects to tactics used by the Nazis. He forgets how people and standards change over the years. Rectal hydration may have been a form of torture a dozen years ago but today it's covered under Obamacare.
• North Dakota shale oil abundance caused oil prices to fall to sixty dollars a barrel Thursday and could cause the fall of Russia's, Iran's and Saudi Arabia's economies. There's nothing they can do about it. North Dakota's where we put all our missiles because we thought there was nothing up there.
• Donald Trump raised eyebrows Friday by scheduling three events in Iowa next month including a lunch with the governor, sparking rumors he'll run for president. He said he sees himself as a political independent. Websters New Dictionary defines political independent as a Republican in show business.
• President Obama worked the phones with House Democrats Thursday trying to convince them to pass a GOP budget bill that Senator Elizabeth Warren rebelled against. If the government shuts down, Congress still gets paid. Their salaries are guaranteed under the Americans with No Abilities Act.
• The American Medical Association published a study predicting that forty percent of Americans will be morbidly obese within the next fifteen years. They say the symptoms creep up on you. You might be morbidly obese if you go horseback riding and then afterwards, they have to shoot the horse.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2011, Argus Hamilton |
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