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Jewish World Review Dec. 16, 2013 / 13 Teves, 5774 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
• Barbara Walters selected rap star Kanye West to her list of the Ten Most Fascinating People in America. He just said he wants to be the Obama of fashion. To achieve that end, he's introducing a clothing line nobody wants and selling it on a website that doesn't work.
• President Obama got photographed flirting with Denmark's blonde prime minister in front of Michelle at Mandela's memorial Tuesday. It was a close call. He only avoided being knocked cold by reminding Michelle how high their deductible is under Obamacare.
• President Obama eulogized Mandela Tuesday while a fake deaf-sign language translator stood next to him onstage relaying gibberish to the crowd. A star is born. After the ceremony he was apprehended by the Secret Service and appointed Signing Czar by President Obama.
• President Obama shook hands with Raul Castro Thursday at the memorial service in South Africa and ignited a firestorm in doing so. It took a lot of nerve. He's got scores of untried prisoners rotting away in Cuban jail cells, and Raul Castro's got the same problem.
• The White House named former Clinton aide John Podesta as assistant chief of staff in charge of getting Obamacare working. It's wonderful to see him back. John Podesta is a man of unquestioned honesty and integrity and that's cost him a lot of work in Washington.
• The Toronto City Council voted to strip Mayor Rob Ford of his powers Friday. He was videotaped smoking crack and vowing to break someone's neck but he later blamed it on being drunk. If Rob Ford was an American, we would be renewing him for a second season.
• Oregon police found two hundred thousand marijuana plants growing in a forest off a state highway. It took them long enough. The cops should have realized that pot was growing nearby when a roadside minimart was hit for the fourth time in a month by bears.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2011, Argus Hamilton |
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