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Jewish World Review Dec. 12, 2013 / 9 Teves, 5774 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
• The Weather Channel reported record cold temperatures for the month of December Monday. Millions of homeowners have lost power. The freezing victims assumed that the U.S. government has taken over electricity and that OPowerCare was the law of the land.
• The White House hired Bill Clinton's former White House Chief of Staff John Podesta to supervise the Obamacare website's recovery. He has a proven skill-set. If any DNA turns up on the Obamacare website screen, John can convincingly deny it's the president's.
• The Treasury sold its GM stock for forty billion dollars, closing the books on the fifty billion dollar bailout four years ago. What a ride. The Treasury wound up losing ten billion dollars, making the GM deal by far the most profitable branch of the U.S. government.
• President Obama created a frenzy at the Mandela service Tuesday by shaking hands with Raoul Castro. Cuba is loosening its grip on citizens and allowing more free press, more business and more private property rights. We're like two ships passing in the night.
• Nelson Mandela was saluted by four U.S. presidents and England's prime minister. He was a Marxist but once he became president he let South Africa's whites keep their land, wealth and businesses. He is succeeded by Barack Obama as the world's worst communist.
• Nelson Mandela's memorial drew one hundred world leaders to South Africa. What a turnout. Barack Obama began his eulogy by saying he hopes the next time so many world leaders gather that it's under happier circumstances, say Donald Trump's memorial.
• President Obama eulogized Nelson Mandela at his funeral Tuesday. He spoke about Mandela's influence on his life, his goals, his dreams and his career. Six times during his speech Obama held his hand out and smiled, and then he put his iPhone back in his pocket.
• The World Cup drawing assigned the U.S. soccer team to the same opening bracket as Germany Friday. They have tremendous soccer talent. If history is any guide, the only way to beat Germany's national team is to retreat to your own goal and wait for winter to set in.
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Kim Jung Un fired his uncle from North Korea's ruling cabinet Friday, accusing him of faction-building, subversion and drug use and womanizing. They are so different from us. It's the same four things a U.S. congressman pledges to do when he recites the Oath of Office.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2011, Argus Hamilton |
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