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Jewish World Review Dec. 31, 2013 / 28 Teves, 5774 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
• The White House conceded that Obamacare application questions got a little personal. One applicant listed his sexual promiscuity, alcohol abuse and debts he can't pay. An hour later a delegation showed up at his front door asking him to run for Congress.
• Mitt Romney released a home video of his life with his family at his house in La Jolla just north of San Diego. It's one of the world's richest towns. Last week someone stole fifty thousand dollars from the Bank of La Jolla, and the police are still looking for a motive.
• A U.S. Court upheld the NSA surveillance program Friday on calls, e-mails and social media. A compromise has been reached. From now on the Fourth Amendment will be recognized from eight in the morning till five in the afternoon, on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
• The Post Office raised the price of a first-class stamp to forty-nine cents Friday. They replaced the forty-six-cent Forever stamps. No one's surprised, because just last year President Obama said if you like your Forever stamps, you can keep your Forever stamps.
• President Obama signed a bipartisan budget bill Friday which avoids a government shutdown in March. That's a relief. During the last century there have been seventeen government shutdowns, the longest being the four years that Jimmy Carter was president.
• Colorado ski resorts moved Friday to ban smoking legalized pot on the slopes. It's hurts the entire economy. Uruguay's government just announced it'll sell pot to citizens for one dollar a gram and suddenly McDonald's no longer has the best dollar menu in Uruguay.
• The Detroit Lions signed rugby superstar Carlin Isles Thursday to play wide receiver for the team. They have high hopes for him. Carlin Isles is considered the fastest man in rugby and this will help him in Detroit when he tries to make it from the stadium to his car.
• Brooklyn teens went on a flash mob rampage at Kings Mall Friday, breaking windows and looting stores. It showed we're making progress. Security video showed a white kid, a black kid and a Hispanic kid, and they were playing Knockout on a shopper together.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2011, Argus Hamilton |
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