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Jewish World Review Dec. 19, 2003 / 24 Kislev, 5764

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news .... | The Wright Brothers were honored at Kitty Hawk Wednesday for the first flight a hundred years ago. It required both brothers. One brother flew the plane and the other brother took away his nail clippers and checked him for any ties to al-Kaiser.

Saddam Hussein cooperated during the act of surrender Saturday. He raised up his hands and stuck out his tongue and tilted his head back for inspection. He was immediately fined by the football commissioner for showboating in the end zone.

Saddam Hussein was shown videotapes of his crimes to try to make him confess Wednesday. We're not subtle. The White House just released a nine-point plan for dealing with Saddam Hussein and points two through nine are burial arrangements.

John Kerry fell to fifth place in the polls for the Democrat nomination this week. He has no chance of winning and too much pride to pull out. The last thing John Kerry ever thought was that running for president would become another Vietnam.

Howard Dean in a speech in Beverly Hills Monday night discussed threats that face our country. The audience wasn't exactly alarmed. Beverly Hills is the one city in the world that regards nuclear attack as an opportunity for free face peels. Saudi Arabia banned the importation of female dolls

Wednesday. The strictest interpretation of Islamic law forbids exposure of the female figure. That's why the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in Saudi Arabia looks like a Ku Klux Klan parade.

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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements, please click here.

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