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Jewish World Review Dec. 12, 2003 / 17 Kislev, 5764

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news .... | The Lingerie Bowl had to change format Tuesday due to pressure from outraged feminists. It won't be the same. The models were originally going to play football in sheer lingerie but now they're going to wear pantsuits and sue Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Mick Jagger will be knighted by Queen Elizabeth this month after the Rolling Stones wrap up their current world tour. These guys are getting old. The group used to smoke pot before concerts to get high and now they do it to calm the nausea.

The American Football Coaches Association said Tuesday it will honor the BCS and recognize the winner of the Sugar Bowl as national champion. They don't even need to play the game. The winner was decided Monday when Al Gore endorsed Oklahoma.

Al Gore rocked the Democrats Tuesday by endorsing Howard Dean for president at a rally in Harlem. The candidate was grateful. He really wanted Bill Clinton's endorsement but he couldn't afford the one hundred thousand dollars for the speech.

Joe Lieberman complained Wednesday that Al Gore didn't call him before endorsing Howard Dean instead of his own candidacy. The timing also irritated him. Despite years of trying, Joe never could get it through Al's head that Passover is in April.

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