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Jewish World Review Nov. 12, 2019 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
PBS marked the fiftieth anniversary of Sesame Street. Fifty years ago, a GOP president was under siege by the liberal media, America had a drug epidemic, and every week Jane Fonda was thrown in jail while protesting. Today's Sesame Street is being brought to you by the letters WT and F.
• Kelly Clarkson recorded Baby It's Cold Outside with new lyrics so that feminists won't be able to claim the holiday song doesn't promote date rape. It never ends. If Progressives are offended by Baby It's Cold Outside because it is politically incorrect, then I fear for the future of White Christmas.
• The Department of Transportation predicts a record eighty million Americans will be traveling on Thanksgiving. The Puritan settlers started the holiday feast tradition four centuries ago. The first turkeys weren't wild, they just went crazy when they found out what we planned to do with them.
• A Qunnipiac poll out Wednesday showing Elizabeth Warren in first place in Iowa, with Mayor Pete second, trailed by Bernie and then Biden in fourth place. Liz released details of her Medicare for All plan this week. It states that if you like your medicine man, you can keep your medicine man.
• Jane Fonda's fourth arrest protesting Trump policies Monday reflected her family's long-time commitment to leftist causes. In August her brother Peter Fonda made good on his 2016 promise to leave this country if Donald Trump was elected president. His tombstone reads Mission Accomplished.
• Food and Wine magazine says PepsiCo is test marketing a Doritos-flavored Mountain Dew in college campuses. You can't make it up, the finest chemists that money can buy are busy testing the refreshment value of cheese-flavored taco chips mixed with Mountain Dew. It sends a clear message to the world from America, and that message is this: we will get to the cure for Ebola when we get to it.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2018, Argus Hamilton |
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