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Jewish World Review Nov. 5, 2019 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
House Republicans ridiculed the impeachment inquiry rules passed last week that hamstring Trump defenders. House Democrats aren't sure if Trump will get re-elected, so they're going to impeach Trump to make sure he gets re-elected. It's what drug addicts call protecting their supply.
• Indiana authorities exhumed the body of America's most famous bank robber, John Dillinger, from his concrete-encased grave. His relatives wanted to make sure it was him. Well, it was Dillinger alright, and they discovered that, true to form, the bank robber died wearing a Bernie in '36 tee-shirt.
• People magazine covered the close friendship that has developed between Lindsay Lohan and Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salmon. It's puzzling to many. The best guess in Hollywood is, the Saudis are showcasing Lindsay as an example of why women should never be allowed to drive.
• The Democratic field began to narrow as Texas former Congressman Beto O'Rourke withdrew from the race. It looked bad when with Iowa voters, he was polling zero percent, tied with O'Doul's. So now it looks like Beto will have go door-to-door by himself to gather up all the guns.
• Sydney Airport customs agents busted a huge shipment of meth shipped to Australia from the U.S. hidden in chili sauce bottles. Back here, a meth lab was discovered inside a bathroom at a WalMart in Indiana. Authorities had no choice but to cordon off the area and declare it a part of Florida.
• The White House announced the U.S. killing of the ISIS second-in-command, provoking vows of revenge. ISIS named their new leader and he vowed to kill Christians. If ISIS really wants to kill Christians, why don't they just sneak across the U.S. border and open up Chick-Fil-A franchises?
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2018, Argus Hamilton |
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