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Jewish World Review Nov. 27, 2018 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
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President Trump insisted that Congress pass a budget with twenty-five billion in Mexican wall funding. If the Congress refuses to fund the wall in the budget, Trump is threatening to allow a U.S. government shutdown. That would force millions of federal workers to stop not working.
• Michelle Obama's autobiography Becoming Michelle sold two million books in her first week on the TV talk show circuit and book-signings. She was a terrific, classy first lady but they should have run the book's title by the comedians. Becoming Michelle sounds like Caitlyn Jenner's Plan B.
• Paris police had to fire tear gas at three hundred thousand protesters over rising fuel prices as President Macron considered bringing in the military to quell the violence and chaos that's erupted. Nobody has any idea how many French soldiers it takes to defend Paris. It's never been tried.
• Facebook executives are preparing to testify before Congress this month in the wake of all the accusations of partisanship in how FB censors posts they deem extreme. It's a huge influence on society. Facebook is available in fifty-seven languages, so now everybody in Los Angeles can enjoy it.
• The Census bureau reported that Los Angeles is the most multi-cultural and multi-ethnic city in the United States. I've become completely non-judgmental to races, religions and cultures. Forty-two years in Los Angeles have taught me that one man's terrorist is another man's Uber driver.
• Quaker Oats announced it was recalling Captain Crunch cereal due to salmonella contained in recent shipments. Earlier this year, the cereal was rated as having the highest amount of sugar in it, on top of the artificial flavorings. The salmonella is probably the least unhealthy thing in the entire box.
• A Japanese brewery announced that their brew-masters have been able to make a beer that tastes exactly like beer but it contains absolutely no alcohol. What's the point? I'm out of the game now, but it occurs to me that drinking beer for the taste is like growing marijuana for the shade.
• Nancy Pelosi vowed to uphold the traditions of Congress after she apparently sealed up all the votes she needs to receive the Speaker's gavel in January. Many of these traditions are two-hundred-thirty years old. Each day Congress opens with a prayer and closes with an investigation.
• The Times of India reported a U.S. missionary was killed by the bows and arrows of a primitive tribe that inhabits one of the Sentinel Islands in the Indian Ocean. You can't say he wasn't warned. There's a one-hundred-and-forty-year-old sign on the beach that reads The British Empire Ends Here.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements.
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© 2018, Argus Hamilton |
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