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Attorney General Jeff Session was called a racist by Democrats for going after sanctuary cities that shield illegal aliens from deportation. The definition of the word racist has been updated. In today's political climate in Washington, a racist is someone you can't accuse of sexual misconduct.
• WalMart reported huge Black Friday sales shortly after opening on Thanksgiving Day at six o'clock. The early opening left many family dinners with the wine only half-drunk and the carving knife still in the turkey. It proves that WalMart doesn't just pass the savings on to you, it saves lives.
• The Dallas Cowboys looked terrible losing to the L.A. Chargers Thursday. They've been racked by injuries and suspensions and distracted by the owner's spat with the NFL. Jerry Jones always says that winning never gets old, but at the rate the Cowboys are going, it may not even reach puberty.
• President Trump officiated at a Rose Garden ceremony Tuesday where he pardoned two huge turkeys from being slaughtered for Thanksgiving. We always learn the same lesson. The two turkeys which President Obama pardoned last year are already back on the streets, committing crimes.
• The National Retail Association forecast record high grocery store sales during Thanksgiving week. Some supermarkets admit they use zone-pricing, which means higher grocery prices in nicer neighborhoods. I never realized how expensive air is until I bought a bag of potato chips Friday.
• German Chancellor Angela Merkel failed to put together a government after voters punished her party for taking in a million Syrian refugees. No one else will help. Perhaps more Americans would be receptive to taking in Syrian refugees if each one came with a tax credit and a free iPhone.
• Senator Al Franken went into seclusion on Wednesday after two more women came forward to say he groped them while they were posing for photos together. He can always return to show business. Al just got a standing offer from Hollywood to play the villain in pepper spray commercials.
• The DEA demanded stronger drug interdiction by South American cops Friday. A DEA agent arrested a woman in a Colombian airport Friday trying to smuggle three pounds of liquid cocaine in her breast implants. It explains why her baby asked the arresting officer if he had fifty bucks on him.
• The L.A. Times revealed only thirty percent of California voters are registered Republicans. It's no secret why. To register as a Republican in California today, you must show your driver's license, your church confirmation certificate, and proof positive that you've never had an actor in your family.
• Our annual shopping ritual has begun. Thursday was Thanksgiving, followed by Black Friday, followed by Small Business Saturday, followed by Cyber-Shopping Monday followed by Identity Theft Tuesday.
• Nations Brands conducted an international survey Wednesday which found that Germany has replaced the United States as the world's most popular country. What a comeback. It just shows that manufacturing a quality automobile goes a long way toward making up for your past war crimes.
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