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Jewish World Review Nov. 25, 2014 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
• The White House read with interest the reaction from European capitals to his speech granting amnesty to five million illegals on Thursday. In Berlin newspapers, the Germans described his speech as chilling, dictatorial and defiant, with no respect for the border. In other words, he had them at hello.
• Adolf Hitler's water-color painting of a Bavarian town hall he painted when he was twenty-five years old sold at auction in Germany Friday. The painting was well reviewed and it sold for a hundred and sixty grand. You know things are bad for Bill Cosby when Adolf Hitler and Charles Manson are having a better week.
• Interpol searched Tanzania for warlords Friday after five giraffes were spotted being crammed onto a transport cargo plane which was believed to be heading for the United Arab Emirates. They have a saying among African warlords. Keep your friends close and your friends with Ebola less close.
• Monaco's National Day was highlighted Friday by an announcement from Prince Albert that he and Princess Charlotte are expecting twin babies in December. The tiny principality has a real talent for survival. Monaco is independent, but they're protected by France, which means they're on their own.
• The Atlantic magazine ran an article Friday reporting that U.S.-Israel relations are at their lowest point in history. We go way back. G0D led the Israelites into the ONLY land in the Middle East with no oil under it to make sure that America would always love Israel for her personality, brains and character.
• The Denver Post reported that a Joe's Crab Shack restaurant franchise in Colorado was busted by police last week for selling alcohol to children. What can you do? The restaurant's management explained that they wanted to ask the kids for a photo ID, but they didn't want to be labeled as racist.
• President Obama's amnesty order was protested in millions of emails and tweets Thursday. The reaction was volcanic. No one wants to say that opponents are angry, but Michelle Obama just recommended that standing onstage and defending her husband is a good way to get your vegetables.
• President Obama insisted on Thursday that every American is descended from immigrants. The Indians fell over laughing. If the Anglo-Saxons are immigrants to this country, then the ancient Roman legions marched into Gaul, Spain, Britain, Greece, Palestine and Egypt looking for hope and opportunity.
• Mexican drug gangs were reported Thursday to be stealing oil from Mexico's oil pipelines and smuggling the oil across the border into the United States. It's so easy to smuggle. They just melt the oil down to powder form, then dye the powder white, and then the border guards just wave it through.
• Mexico may start charging foreigners a twenty-eight dollar cover charge to enter Mexico. The Mexican government legalized user amounts of pot and cocaine and prostitution is allowed. Anyone who's ever been to a New York after-hours club will agree that twenty-eight bucks is quite reasonable.
• A Chinese government think tank recommended to the ruling Politburo in Beijing that China get rid of its one-child-per-family law. The report informed the government that China doesn't have enough children. To give you an idea of how bad the situation is, some factories are being forced to hire adults.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements.
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© 2011, Argus Hamilton |
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