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Jewish World Review Nov 30, 2011 / 4 Kislev, 5772 And now for the important news .... By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Iowa GOP conservatives launched a surprise TV ad campaign urging caucus voters to back Sarah Palin. They want a candidate who can win. It's not easy nowadays to find somebody who is socially moderate, fiscally conservative and doesn't owe Tiffany's money.
Rick Perry launched national TV ads Monday which show that he's much better with some rehearsal and editing than he is on live TV. If he's elected president, all his speeches should be pre-taped. That way if he declares war on the wrong country we can fix it in post.
Wall Street rallied Monday on news of the record-high retail sales on Black Friday. A record one hundred fifty million people hit the stores. Shoppers bought enough labor-saving devices to make sure no jobs are created in America for the next one hundred years.
Cyber Monday drew one hundred and twenty-nine million Americans to shop online Monday. The technology is amazing. On Monday police shut down two websites when customers started pepper-spraying each other on Skype in an attempt to get to the X-boxes.
USA Today reported a survey Monday showing that the Hispanic birth rate in the U.S. fell eleven percent in four years. Less than a million Hispanics were born in the U.S. last year. They're becoming so Americanized they're voting for who's toughest on immigration.
The CIA warned Monday that violent extremist groups in Iraq were hiding in Shiite neighborhoods. After the U.S. invasion, Sunnis and Shiites stopped living side-by-side and were forced to move to separate neighborhoods. They never should have agreed to let George Wallace be the provisional governor.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2011, Argus Hamilton |
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