Jewish World Review Nov. 12, 2007 / 2 Kislev 5768
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Young Frankenstein opened on Broadway on Thursday. The critics say it's not as funny as The Producers. Mel Brooks has nothing that can follow a singing, dancing, gay Hitler, mainly because Osama bin Laden refuses to sell his life's story to a Jew.
Heather Mills McCartney parted company Friday with her lawyer and her publicist in her divorce war with Paul McCartney. His relationship with the one-legged model was doomed from the very start. He's an old-time rock 'n roller and she's into hip-hop.
Michael Jackson was reported Friday to be close to losing his Neverland Ranch in Santa Barbara to creditors. It's been one headache after another. He lost his tax break on the mansion three years ago when his neighbors figured out it wasn't a junior high.
Fred Thompson said Friday he thinks Social Security benefits for retirees should be cut. There's a method to his madness. He thinks if he gets fired from running for president he can collect unemployment but if he quits he collects nothing.
Senator Barack Obama suggested Tuesday that Baby Boomers like Bill and Hillary Clinton are stuck in the contentious Sixties. He sees himself as a man ahead of his times. He's already demanding that President Bush bring our troops home from Iran.
The Army admitted on Friday that it has spent two and one half billion dollars on a new helicopter with just one flaw. It's not safe to fly in hot weather. Now the Pentagon is trying to install air conditioning in all the countries we plan to invade.
Pakistan's dictator General Pervez Musharraf surrounded opposition leader Benazir Bhutto's home with barbed wire on Friday and placed her under house arrest. She's got a lot of sympathy in America. Nobody can sell anything in this real estate market.
San Francisco Bay was swamped by a sixty thousand gallon oil spill on Thursday when a tanker ran aground in fog. Each barrel was worth a hundred dollars. People were jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge just so they could finally say they struck oil.
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton