Jewish World Review Nov. 15, 2006 / 24 Mar-Cheshvan, 5767
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
The Central Intelligence Agency said Sunday they think Fidel Castro's health is declining and he won't be in power much longer. They are fairly certain this time. According to a highly classified CIA intelligence report, nobody lives forever.
New York pollsters reported Saturday that Hillary Clinton easily carried Republican districts in upstate New York. However, it wasn't all bad news for Republicans. She won by such a huge margin that she's almost certainly going to run for president.
Bill Clinton and former President George Bush spoke at a Realtors convention in New Orleans on Saturday. They told jokes about each other and got huge laughs from the audience. Successful presidential candidates never tire of taunting John Kerry.
Democrats were urged in editorials Sunday to investigate pre-war intelligence that said Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction. What can they do? The man who talked us into this war should be run out of office, but that's Parliament's job.
House Speaker-to-be Nancy Pelosi declared Sunday she'll back Jack Murtha for House Majority Leader. He has been calling to redeploy U.S. troops in Iraq over the horizon. Leave it to a Democrat to bring up Judy Garland in the middle of a war.
Dallas suburb Farmers Branch is considering a law to ban hiring or renting to illegal aliens. All the un-mowed lawns and un-trimmed trees will have consequences. Forget Iraq, in three months Farmers Branch will be another Vietnam.
Hershey's closed a plant Saturday after salmonella poisoning was found. They assured the public the Halloween chocolate candy was perfectly safe. It is, if you agree with medieval Vikings that fat guarantees you survival through the winter.
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© 2006, Argus Hamilton