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Jewish World Review Nov. 23, 2004 / 10 Kislev, 5765

Argus Hamilton

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Consumer Reports
And now for the
important news .... | The Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation summit had just begun in Chile on Saturday when an earthquake struck. There were a lot of guilty looks around the table when it hit. The North Koreans blamed the Iranians and the Iranians blamed the North Koreans.

Iraq's envoy to the U.N. said Saturday there's a good chance that Iraq will be able to hold elections as scheduled in January. They are eager to be Americanized. Iraqis are learning Spanish by calling the bank and pressing the number two button.

U.S. Senator Ernest Hollings gave his farewell speech Friday after forty-eight years. He complained there are no drunks left in the Senate. Last year Teddy Kennedy spent St. Patrick's Day as the designated driver for a church softball league.

The Desert Inn in Las Vegas was imploded last week to make room for another super-casino. They weren't built by people who won at the tables. The only sure way to win in Las Vegas is to get off the plane and walk straight into the propeller.

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