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Jewish World Review Oct. 19, 2020 Rogue Report By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Joe Biden laid low after Hunter e-mails showed his use of Joe's influence as VP to secure him board seats and investment funds. It's crazy. If Joe wins, he could be impeached for Biden's family graft in Ukraine a year after Trump was impeached for asking about Biden's family graft in Ukraine.
• DEA officers posed with thousands of sacks of narcotics Thursday after the biggest drug bust in Los Angeles history. They seized 2,400 pounds of crystal meth, 800 pounds of cocaine, and 600 pounds of black tar heroin. I guess the World Series between Hunter Biden and Johnny Depp is off.
• The New York Post released more damaging revelations from Hunter Biden's laptop hard drive that showed he may have been splitting his foreign graft fifty-fifty with Papa Joe. The son is not without talent. In Hunter's defense, smiling for a picture with a crack pipe in your mouth is very difficult.
• Facebook refused to allow the New York Post story on Biden family graft Tuesday, infuriating Freedom of the Press advocates. It's left FB users scrambling for any news. I saw one website headline that read Biden Leaks, and didn't know if it was Hunter's Ukraine e-mails or Joe's Depends.
• The Hollywood Reporter reports film executives were in meetings all week to guess what kind of movies to make when the lockdowns end. People always love a good crime story. Already, Warner Bros. is re-making Bonnie and Clyde, this time starring Hunter's Laptop and Hillary's E-mail Server.
• Hunter Biden stayed unavailable for comment about the e-mails on his laptop connecting his board job on the Ukrainian energy company to his dad's influence as VP. The board job never made any sense. The only thing Hunter Biden knows about energy is that cocaine gives him lots of it.
• Showtime will air a documentary called Belushi, about his rise on SNL and his death in 1982, ending the Baby Boomer party era in L.A. When John died in a West Hollywood hotel room, the coroner said Belushi was on alcohol, cocaine, heroin and weed. The cause of death was listed as Room Service.
• Speaker Nancy Pelosi faced pressure from her own House caucus Friday to make a deal with the White House on a pandemic relief bill. When she was asked about it on camera on Tuesday, Nancy Pelosi completely melted down on Wolf Blitzer. To everyone's surprise, it didn't involve water.
• Judge Amy Coney Barrett sailed through two days of Judiciary Committee grilling. Ben Sasse drew laughs by referencing the Houston Astros cheating scandal, when they communicated with each other by banging trash can lids. It was a clumsy attempt by the Astros at being Senatorial.
• Savannah Guthrie moderated Trump's NBC Town Hall Thursday. She spent sixty minutes interrupting him and stepping on the audience applause after he answered their questions. I'm not saying Savannah is a lightweight, but even Biden did a better job of debating Trump than she did.
• MSNBC hosts ripped the NBC network for scheduling a Trump town hall opposite the Biden town hall on ABC. Many viewers were unaware. Regular NBC viewers who accidentally tuned in just assumed Alec Baldwin was doing Trump in a sketch, and were delighted he was finally funny.
• President Trump was grilled by NBC Today Show host Savannah Guthrie on his NBC Town Hall meeting Thursday night. As I see it, Trump's only shot at re-election is to promise suburban housewives that if re-elected, he'll only appear on television once a month. In other words, Biden's in.
• Joe Biden enjoyed a nice, easy town hall with ABC's George Stephanopoulos in Philadelphia Thursday. He did two events in one day. For Biden's outdoor rally in Pennsylvania that afternoon, the weatherman said it'd be in the late 60s and dress accordingly, so Joe showed up in a Nehru jacket.
• Senator Ted Cruz gave an interview Friday slamming the spreading movement in Democratic states to allow convicts to vote, saying California's law would allow Charles Manson to vote. Charles Manson has been dead for three years. This fall he's in charge of getting out the vote for Adam Schiff.
• The New York Post published e-mails from Hunter Biden's computer showing Joe Biden met with Hunter's Ukrainian benefactor while Joe was Vice President. Apparently political patronage runs in the family. Hunter's love child is eleven months old and already he's on the board at Gerber's. • Judge Amy Barrett got a lecture by Senator Hirono in Judiciary Committee hearings when Amy said sexual preference instead of sexual orientation. The controversy reminded me of how I skated through college at OU. I majored in Gender Studies back when there were only two of them. • The Wall Street Journal reported that thirty-six U.S. states are reporting increased corona virus infection rates this month after the rate dipped in late summer. We all know what's next. The CDC just warned that the second wave of celebrities singing inspirational songs may be worse than the first. • The CDC admitted Tuesday that masks don't prevent Covid infection after the CDC's Director told Congress masks are indispensable to saving lives. To appease the Corona Virus, we must throw the entire government into a live volcano. Even if it doesn't work it will benefit the nation enormously. • Drug Enforcement Agency agents in Los Angeles Wednesday made the biggest crystal meth bust in history. They seized twenty-four hundred pounds of meth and eight hundred pounds of cocaine. This ratio shows that Country Music is three times more popular in Los Angeles than Disco. • The PK Anhalt public relations firm in Copenhagen just conducted a poll of twenty thousand people in forty different nations to find out the world's favorite country. The winner is Germany. It just shows that if you make a quality car, it goes a long way toward making up for past war crimes. • Hip Hop superstar Kanye West released his first presidential campaign video Sunday, in which the rapper declared he could be elected president but Jesus is King. Yesterday in West Hollywood, I saw his campaign slogan on a car's bumper sticker. It read, Kanye: Not as Mental as the Other Two. • President Trump campaigned in Iowa Wednesday and vowed if re-elected to heal the nation's wounds and re-unite the country. He recently did some research on the difficulty of that. Trump turned on his iPhone and asked Siri why Democrats hate him and she wouldn't shut up for four days. • Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin announced Wednesday that he would stay on as Treasury Secretary if President Trump's re-elected but Mnuchin added he will not serve as Treasury Secretary under a President Biden. That's like me saying I am boycotting Shakira's bedroom. I wasn't invited. • President Trump in Pennsylvania Tuesday promised if re-elected president to clamp down on the street violence in our biggest cities. You get numb to it. Yesterday at Los Angeles Airport I saw a security guard wearing a bullet-proof vest, and I had to remind him that this is an airport not a school. • Nancy Pelosi melted down on camera at CNN's Wolf Blitzer when he suggested she work out a deal on the corona virus relief bill with Trump. She flipped out. Nancy accused CNN of being on Trump's side, which is proof positive that after fifty long years, San Francisco still has the best LSD.
JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
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© 2020, Argus Hamilton |
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