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Jewish World Review Oct. 21, 2014 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
• Arnold Schwarzenegger will star in a zombie movie titled Maggie about a guy whose daughter gets infected with a virus which turns her into a flesh-eating zombie. No one will want to see this. The whole idea of going to the movies is to escape the drudgery of everyday life in America.
• The Baltimore Marathon is run Sunday where spectators have been given leaflets telling them to be polite. There's a real chance an American could win this marathon. That's because this year the Kenyan runners have to stop every thirty minutes to get their temperatures taken.
• The White House disclosed Wednesday they will deploy first-response teams to properly treat any Ebola victims in the U.S. The vice president is the point man in the administration's response to the epidemic. Last night Joe Biden said that his heart goes out to the people of Ebola.
• Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel said he may ban the sale of cigarettes and all tobacco at U.S. military bases next year. Does he think that he's running a spa? If Hagel is really interested in U.S. service people living long, healthy lives perhaps we should invade France instead of Syria.
• The New York Mercantile Exchange reported continued drops in crude oil prices Thursday. The price fell to eighty dollars a barrel due to a decline in the demand for gasoline. Possible layoffs at gas stations could include the seasonal workers, the people who clean the bathrooms.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2011, Argus Hamilton |
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