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Jewish World Review Oct. 25, 2013 / 21 Mar-Cheshvan, 5774 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
• Detroit filed for chapter nine bankruptcy protection Thursday following decades of decline for the Motor City. Its debts total eighteen billion dollars and restructuring will take years. Detroit's finances are in such a mess that al-Qaeda is trying to take credit for it.
• Germany's Chancellor Angela Merkel blasted the U.S. government for using the NSA to datamine her telephone calls. The NSA protest has spread throughout Europe. The next day Belgium, the Netherlands, Italy and France joined Germany, which is certainly a switch.
• The FBI arrested a twenty-five-year-old New York man for joining al-Qaeda through al-Qaeda's website. In just a few clicks he was on his way to Yemen for training. How embarrassing is it that it's easier to join al-Qaeda online than it is to enroll in ObamaCare?
• President Obama launched a drive for the Immigration Reform Bill Thursday. Illegal aliens are very wary. They fear that if President Obama sets up a White House website allowing them to apply for U.S. citizenship, they'll never draw a legal breath in this country.
• Congress heard testimony from ObamaCare contractors on Thursday. They said they saw there would be problems. It's only a matter of time before we give up and call India and they tell us to un-plug the website for five minutes, plug it back in, and see if that helps.
• Google Glasses were slated Tuesday to go on sale in stores next year. They allow you to go on Facebook, or go online or tweet while you're walking down the street. The real selling point is the navigation system that warns you that you just stepped out into traffic.
• The Boston Red Sox hosted the first two games of the World Series and opened each game with patriotic ceremonies. Bostonians are famously civic-oriented. Kids in Boston public high schools spend the first week of every school year studying their Miranda rights.
• Bobby Kennedy according to a new book stole JFK's brains from a container where they were stored in the National Archives. It's big news. There was actually once a time in this country when the United States had a president whose brains were worth stealing.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2011, Argus Hamilton |
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