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Jewish World Review Oct. 23, 2012 / 7 Mar-Cheshvan, 5773 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Mitt Romney pleased Republicans at the Al Smith Dinner with the way he delivered his jokes Friday. He outsourced the premises and fired the set-ups and left only the punch lines working. That will all change if he gets elected and has thirty minutes to fill every day.
Al-Qaeda CEO Khalid Sheik Mohammed went on trial in Guantanamo for plotting the World Trade Center attack. His interrogation and trial enjoyed bipartisan support. Republicans got to place a terrorist on trial for his life and Democrats get to torture a CEO.
Libya's port city of Benghazi was reported under the control of al-Qaeda Friday. The terrorists now control the port access to the world's lightest sweetest crude oil. The Sierra Club thought nothing could be more dangerous than fracking, but they were wrong.
USA Today said the Dry Hollow Ranch in Texas is doing big business offering women a Bullets and Botox Weekend. Women who go there learn handgun shooting while they get their wrinkles filled. The Republicans may have stumbled onto a way to win California.
The Weather Channel showed a dust storm in Oklahoma that blinded truck drivers Friday. The dust was so thick you couldn't see five feet in front of you. It's nature's way of saying, don't get too excited about these government jobs reports, it's still a depression.
Cook County officials proposed a nickel-a-bullet tax to help treat gunshot victims in Chicago. It'd cost ten dollars in taxes to load an automatic weapon. No one would have believed it but there's now something more expensive in a movie theater than the popcorn.
The Griffith Observatory was packed to see the meteor showers Friday as the Earth passed through Halley's Comet's tail. What a beautiful sight. The outdoor balcony was packed with young people all looking down at their meteor shower app on their iPhones.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2011, Argus Hamilton |
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