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Jewish World Review Oct. 18, 2012 / 2 Mar-Cheshvan, 5773 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
President Obama and Mitt Romney debated to a tie on Tuesday night. The president pleased Democrats with his aggressiveness and Mitt Romney pleased Republicans by making no mistakes. They say in Arkansas a tie is like kissing your sister, it's just that good.
The Nobel Committee awarded the Nobel Peace Prize to the European Union Friday in Stockholm. Americans did walk away with one of the big awards. This year the Nobel Prize for Economics went to a California couple who sold their house five years ago.
Mitt Romney canceled his appearance on The View Thursday. He decided not to sit in the middle of five women gunning for him on national TV. It's the kind of leadership we've been looking for, a guy who recognizes an unwinnable quagmire when he sees one.
Alex Rodriguez was caught in the AL playoffs tossing a ball to a woman in the stands on which he had written a note asking for her phone number. He looked desperate. Neither A-Rod nor Lance Armstrong can get a date since the outbreak of meningitis was linked to steroid use.
Democrats planned a Million Big Bird March to support taxpayer funding for Sesame Street and Big Bird. The bird signifies cheer, kindness and brotherhood. About the only nice thing that Democrats won't say about Big Bird is how many poor people he could feed.
Congressman Jesse Jackson Jr. was probed Tuesday for using campaign donations to decorate his house. He was just treated at the Mayo Clinic for bi-polar disorder and was reportedly seen drinking at a bar in Washington D.C. Rod Blagojevich deserves to have some time knocked off his sentence for not appointing him to Barack Obama's Senate seat.
Hillary Clinton took responsibility for the U.S. embassy in Libya being attacked. The president blamed it on a spontaneous mob riot over an anti-Muslim video nobody saw. In the Pentagon dining room, they've just hung a portrait of Riots Sparked by Anti-Muslim Video on the wall, right between Weapons of Mass Destruction and The Domino Theory.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2011, Argus Hamilton |
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