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Jewish World Review Oct 24, 2011 / 26 Tishrei, 5772 And now for the important news .... By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | The U.S. Senate drafted a bill Friday to grant U.S. visas to foreigners if they agree to buy a house. The house must sell for at least a half a million dollars. The idea is to attract rich people to the United States to offset the rich people who are leaving the United States. GOP candidate Herman Cain urged the U.S. to build a wall on the Mexican border just like the Great Wall of China Tuesday. The idea poses engineering difficulties. We'd have to find a way to build the largest wall in history with all the workers on the south side of it. Virginia police began looking for thieves who stole President Obama's Teleprompter from his bus tour. The hunt is on. Police are looking for a suspect in a blue Chevy who's constantly looking to the left and right and blaming the Republicans for blocking his jobs bill. A New York husband caught his wife cheating Friday using a tracking app called Find My Friend on the new Apple iPhone he bought her. There's no privacy anymore. It's not well-known that we found Osama bin Laden after he looked up an old girlfriend on Facebook. Bill Clinton will begin a bookstore tour in November to promote his new book Back to Work about how to fix the U.S. economy. He will always be most popular Democratic president in history. Franklin Delano Roosevelt never told us that oral sex is not adultery. French first lady Carla Bruni-Sarkozy gave birth to a girl Friday who became the first baby born to a sitting French president. People magazine was willing to pay a fortune for the first baby pictures. Americans want to see if she looks like Dominique Strauss-Kahn.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton |
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